ESTO 17
Jesus has joined
Yes
I needed more humor
And every time I either imagine or channel or otherwise commune
With Jesus
I can tell he is there by his animated chuckle
It precedes his greeting and has a hint of questioning
As though he is asking, Can this be you
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I will tell you that this Jesus is incurably affirming
And that he is available as Abba is to anyone who asks
If I ever need a lift in the future I’ll remember that
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Jesus is recent
To have the so-known and so-called Father and Son as sidekicks
Is wunderbar as the song says
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Sacrilege
Misuse of the sacred
I doubt anyone will object
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It is almost 40 chronological years since I had scientific evidence of the sacrilege that attended my evolving sense of Jesus
The first was a letter from a woman at the press that published the paperback version of my book The Grass Roots Church
Which explicitly confessed that it contained no theology
(I was following Bonhoeffer’s advice that we pray and do right by our fellows)
The second was from my friend and lifetime mentor Will Campbell
Will hummed a bit and said no one would touch the theology I had come up with
Decades after The Grass Roots Church
He suggested I apply for a Macarthur
I wouldn’t have
And never did
I proceeded at my own pace and in my own way
I am more ambitious than I would be
Armed with a Macarthur and an up to date CV
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So readers of this spiritual autobiography
Will be apprised with this section
Of my intent to include my two guides in the process
Which is the fathoming of my lifetime as who I am
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Regarding Jesus
I say the illusion then and now is messianism
All forms of it
And he agrees
“It is not what I was about”
He adds
“What I was about was tearing down the sad edifice
of traditional religion”
He adds
“I said then and I say now
Go within”
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I will share this writing experience as I am sure there will be questions and changes
But I want to make clear that what I am sharing is nothing different than voices that come from me
Are they imagined or do they possess reality that could pass tests
I do not present them as anything but my experience
Ophelia is real to me
Among other literary creations
I regard these as real because they are different parts of me than would be possible to present were it not for the process of my interactions
If there is anything new in this
It is that I am coming to feel that this mode of realization is possible for all people with all people who are no longer here
I definitely feel that I have contacts of this sort
Abba and Jesus are part of me in the same way perhaps that Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig would fit naturally with someone preoccupied with these major figures
A good example from me would be my encounter with the doctor who was most familiar with my parents
My encounter left me with a realization I had never considered
That both of them, my parents, had suffered much more than I had ever thought about or felt
It was sobering
I might have concluded this on my own without this process
But I doubt it
Stay tuned
