Fighting the Waves & Being True To Yourself

Open water swimming is intimidating, especially competitively. There are waves and buoys and thrashing arms and legs.

A former Commander of mine told me a story of swimming an open water triathlon segment.

Actually, I was forced to listen to this story at least half-a-dozen times. He, apparently, loved this story.

Somehow my Commander thought it would teach me something… namely:

stop fighting

The story goes something like this:

“I’m not a strong swimmer, but a few years ago I used to regularly compete in triathlons. There was one triathlon where there was an open water swim and the waves were really big. I was getting tired, and I began to realize that there was a way to use the waves, instead of fighting against them. I used them so well that I came out of the water in second or third place. I was sure I’d missed a turn, but I hadn’t. After the other competitors got out of the water and we were on the bikes, I resumed my normal place in the pack.”

Usually he would pull this story out when we were facing some particular challenge and I was asking him to do something difficult. Something that would require political capital on his part or for him to take a stand on an issue for the good of our Airmen and our unit — in the long term.

I hated this story.

I still hate this story.

I remember standing in his office, clenching my fists, trying to nod politely while biting my tongue as I was being subjected to this story.

This is why:

As leaders, we are called to face challenges. We are called to use our political capital in the pursuit of worthy goals.

Each time he pulled out this story I knew he was telling me ‘no’.

It was not the ‘no’ that made me hate the story.

What made me hate the story was that he wasn’t using logic or reason or suggesting a better way to help the unit meet our mission goals. He was saying: ‘this thing, that you care about on behalf of our unit and our Airmen — is not worthy of fighting for’

When I’m being generous I acknowledge that somewhere in that story is a grain of truth about conservation of energy. While true that political capital must be husbanded for the appropriate moment, I never saw a situation in which he was willing to use it on anyone but his own self-interest and career goals.

Because consider this: Where are the waves taking you?

In my Commander’s story, he doesn’t know. He gets out of the water and doesn’t know where he’s been … he thinks he’s missed the mark.

He used the waves because he was tired and it was easy, not because he knew the waves would take him where he wanted or needed to go.

When you are tempted to let the waves move you, ask yourself this:

Are they taking me where I want to go? Where I need to go? Is the destination consistent with who I am as a person?

To stop fighting and give into the waves is to adopt a philosophy of choosing the easy wrong over the hard right — consistently.

This is not an argument to exhaust yourself… to waste political capital on unworthy pursuits — that doesn’t get you where you need to go either.

Rather, this is a reminder that sometimes you have to fight the waves in order to remain true to yourself and your values. If you let the waves take you where they want to go, you never get where you need to be — and you run the risk of becoming someone you don’t recognize.

When it’s time to fight the waves and the others thrashing all around you:

Take a deep breath.

Remind yourself who you are and what you value.

And just keep swimming.

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