Go Ahead- Keep Your Hearts- I Don’t Write For Your Approval, Anyway.
I write to keep sane. So far so good.
This is my mantra as I wade further in to a world of competitive social media. Everyone seems to be competing for something though most won’t want to admit it. Yes, I have a fledgling blog (really fledgling), I frequently Tweet about important social issues in accordance with other like minded followers and tussle with the occasional troll; now I’ve joined Medium to share my essays with the world (sniff… well not “the world” yet).
Blogging. Twittering. Instagraming. Who can keep their eyes off the statistics? Drive by approval in the form of “ReTweets”, “Likes”, “Hearts” and “Recommends” gives us a little hit of dopamine (or oxytocin if you’re on a dating site) and we’re off to the races for a few seconds, only to rebound for another hit. Statistics don’t lie. Or do they? What began as a seemingly benign representation of where we stand among our friends and fellows has turned into a cottage industry for those who will design and sell you apps and other ways in which you can boost this mythical number. But you’ve got to ask yourself, is it real? Further, if you really consider how deeply manipulative the exploitation of this common human need is, it will creep you out, I promise. A quick glance at “Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs” theory will bear me out. Psychology 101, remember?
In observing myself within the pehnomenon of social media and the basic human need for approval, I’ve decided to regard my experience as if in a social experiment.
This theoretical experiment consists of me ideally recognizing when my need for approval is driving me further away from the truth of who I am. Then assessing and making the appropriate course corrections where needed to realize my true self. Easy, right? Not so much once you jump in to the rushing waters of social media and begin publicizing your dreams, beliefs, fears and creative ambitions.
As the apparitions of self doubt circle and float down from the ceiling you realize the need for approval is a prideful and shifty ghost.
Like a drug addict you begin to feel the symptoms of withdrawal at the mere thought of shunning approval in favor of what, speaking in your true voice? Sharing from the heart? Doing something you love? Speaking out against the majority? Well, you think, if I’m going to “get anywhere” I’ve got to first satisfy this ghost, get in the mainstream, go along to get along, right? Wrong. Intuitively, you know that’s a rabbit hole.
So, just how do you slay the ghosts and satisfy the need for approval?
You tell yourself you don’t give a fuck (even though you know you still do) and you keep writing and posting. That’s it. It’s not magic, it’s just persistence, something fear seems to resent and eventually succumb to.
Now, if you thought I was going to go in to all this psychotherapeutic mental mumbo jumbo and include a list (we do love our lists, don’t we?) to get you through this challenge you’re probably disappointed by now. However, if you boil down all the advice and theories one might find on self realization you’ll find I’ve given you the one nugget of truth in all of them. Keep doing what you feel driven to do until what others think of you (or your work) doesn’t matter anymore. Then, you will have arrived at your true passion.
For my one or two followers who’ll read this I thank you for your time. Now go create, sing, dance, write or do whatever it is you do that makes you, you.
S. Lynn Knight 2016
