Of ice cream and fingers
Save for the lactose intolerant
all seem to like ice cream
especially in summer in a time of
global warming
+
How long we will have it
(the ice cream)
is anyone’s guess
+
Big oil might implode for
short term profit
Ice cream might be moot
+
Shoot
+
Nonetheless I will share my
wisdom on how best to consume
ice cream
+
First do not share it
You could
but then this would not apply
I am speaking of a round cardboard container
of
oh
probably a half a gallon
of vanilla slow churned ice cream
from someone named Edy
I suppose it could be some other kind
but I write from experience
so you will need to adapt
or adopt
in the event you need help
+
My thesis is that because I advocate using the
finger as a device for extracting ice cream
that half gallon will be mine alone
Oh I suppose an intimate
with whom internal juices are shared
in myriad ways
would be welcome in this venture
But it turns out that
in my life
my intimate has
no interest whatsoever in ice cream
Or at least not in this half gallon
+
The reason for using the finger
is an agreement with oneself
to actually eat the stuff in the first place
Since almost everyone is pre-diabetic these days
consumption of sugar is
a lethal form of idiocy
On the other hand
without such idiocy there would be
little pleasure
and less reason for writing
which is the actual pleasure
Getting words down
Crowing (I believe) is the word
+
Anyway there is a limit to the amount of ice cream
you can extract with a single groping finger
With skill you can control the volume
so you get between a dollop and a chunk
That is about the size of it
+
Your health regimen requires that
the half gallon last for as long as a month
You cannot spend all your hours
contemplating the next dollop
I certainly don’t
+
I am old enough now to feel
entirely at ease in sharing such
injurious autobiographical facts
I fully expect others have similar tales
of equally noxious hidden habits
Have no fear
There will be no reprisals
