Winning The War Within Collected Sonnets
Here is a selection with comments by my friend and classmate John Felstiner, literary critic and long a professor of literature at Stanford.
I spend my time on isolation row
Far far offline without much recompense
It is less harmful than some games I know
And there are times it seems to make good sense
But some days I veer toward a bleak despair
It may be age or ailment creeping on
It would be nice to explicate this Fair
This Midway I have chosen right or wrong
I know what passes muster what does not
I know what I have done and what I’ve lost
I’m far beyond the need to plan and plot
And now I’m forced to contemplate the cost
The cost in dollars is no major thing
The cost in love beyond all reckoningAh speak to me of age and I reply
Mine varies with the passing of the years
That bodies age none safely will deny
But even so a counterpoint appears
I had a wisdom that surpassed an adult’s claim
Before my voice was changed or love I knew
If cats have nine lives I have had the same
And haply I’ll have more before I’m through
My eyes have lost their childhood gravity
And seize upon all moments of romance
My ears reject the term maturity
As terminal like death the end of chance
So talk of wanton youth and sweet decline
And it will be some other life not mineOur Father Abba friend a unity
You call us to this confident address
No airs no display no formality
No creeds no catechisms to confess
It is as if we had a common friend
As near to us as speech heartbeat and breath
And yes as if religion’s at an end
With we the witnesses to its sweet death
Not long ago the Waldorf played host to
The cream of world religion’s hefty crop
They did what world religionists will do
Left with a statement from their mountaintop
Much better simply to befriend this name
Vouchsafed by him who to our rescue cameThe Current Title of the Work:
Winning The War Within — Collected Sonnets
by Stephen C. Rose
The Current Synopsis of the Work:
Stephen C. Rose’s original sonnets follow Shakespeare precisely in meter and rhyme scheme. Yet their contemporary themes and lack of punctuation signal something deep and new. You meet not only the author but yourself. Rose’s sonnets range from a description of profound loneliness in cyberspace to a remarkable testament to post-postmodern faith and reason. Winning The War Within is a profound, accessible meditation about what we can and cannot know and winning the continuing battle within. Rose is an artist-activist and critic of American religion and society. He has written a dozen books and produced several albums of original folk and choral music.
The Current Length of the Work (40 sonnets):
2000 words — 40 sonnets
Market/Demographic Focus:
Adults, young adults, lovers of the sonnet form, Christian readers.
Describe The Main Character
These have a definite autobiographical slant but the point of view makes the main character the contemporary searcher for a way forward in a world that can no longer cling to traditions and conventions that have led to widespread injustice and senseless war.
Evaluation Form
The current title — How catchy is it? How well does it convey the information in the manuscript?
I very much like that title, especially nowadays and alas for some time to come. Its alliteration is strong but subtle, and significant in what it links together.
Would the title alone move you buy, review or purchase for a library?
Just about, yes.
The current synopsis — Does it create interest?
Also quite good. I for one think that nothing would be lost by mentioning, in passing, that the sonnets especially speak for an older readership — which does exist and isn’t often written for.
Also, I don’t think the target market includes just Christians but people (like myself) concerned about the place of religion in our lives today.
The current length of the work — Is it appropriate for the target market?
Seems OK, yes.
What is the power of the sonnets?Their candor, range, telling themes and concerns, frequent surprise and detail, and the achievement of the form.
Does what you’ve read leave you with a desire to read more of this poet’s work?
Possibly, yes, in other forms maybe.
Does the format of these sonnets feel appropriate to their tone?
Very much so, in the spirit of Edna St Vincent Millay — mutatis mutandis, of course.
Does it feel unified, consistent, of equally good quality?
Pretty much, though occasionally the consistency of the 10-syllable line sometimes wears a bit thin, or results in awkward rather than mind-catching rhythmic effects.
Do the sonnets grab your attention and make you want to read further?
Oh yes.
Please evaluate:
Meter; rhyme; line-breaks:
See above.
Spelling and punctuation:
Not a problem. Almost always this punctuation-lack works well.
Formatting:
Inversions and other archaisms:
See above
Concluding remarks:
I can see this getting out there nicely, to the common reader. Possibly it wouldn’t make the NYT Book Review, but what poetry ever does?
