Elon Musk Triggers a Bread and Milk Scare
It’s The End of the World as We Know It
“Twitter going down” is trending. On Twitter.
Elon locks employees out of their offices.
Mass resignations, so they’re not trying to break in anyway.
Elon declares comedy legal! Free speech for all!
Declares comedy illegal again. Fuck free speech.
Elon tweets his amusement. Billionaire joke. Yawn.
Elon is called “very disruptiano” by GenX’ers.
Is called “Hitler discovering he’s reincarnated and running Twitter” by Millennials.
Is called by Boomers “a living breathing argument for a 90% top tax rate.”
Is called by GenZ’ers “The Liz Truss of Anthony Scaramuccis.”
Is called a “competent leader” by Liz Truss.
Is called a “short-timer” by a head of lettuce.
“It’s always about Elon. Elon, Elon, Elon,” posts Trump on Truth Social.
Nobody sees it.
Panic buying strips store shelves bare.
Elon is offered $500 cash for the website by a guy who says he used to run a crypto empire.
“Find a fucking hobby” is the leading Google search.