HUMOR | LIFESTYLE
If Food Labels Were Honest
“Because sometimes you need to hate yourself a little more”
All drawings by the author
HotPockets
“Because sometimes you just need to hate yourself a little more”
Slim Jims
“50% meat, 50% a mystery”
Taco Bell Hot Sauce
“We may not know what’s in it—but we know you love it”
Froot Loops
“Now with 100% more artificial flavoring!”
Lunchables
“Confirming that you’re a bad parent since 1988”
Red Bull
“Helping you stay awake for things you’ll probably regret”
Spam
“When you want meat, but can’t afford it”
Kool-Aid
“100% sugar and 1000% guaranteed to give you Type II diabetes”
Totino’s Pizza Rolls
“You’ll be rolling to the bathroom in about 5 minutes”
Jell-O
“When you want dessert but can’t be bothered to use actual ingredients”
Wonder Bread
“I wonder how the FDA still allows us to call this bread?”
Chef Boyardee
“It’s better than nothing… but not by much”
Donuts
“The breakfast of champions—who have given up on life”
