Applicants with criminal histories are welcome to apply. Reading this line gave me the best laugh I’ve had in a while. It was posted by my former employer, Epsilon, where I worked for 15 years and was laid-off over the phone.

They told me several times I was “eligible for rehire.” After five failed attempts to get back in and secure a regular paycheck again, I finally wised up to the bastards.

Each time, I was virtually ignored, with no explanation why I couldn’t get the gigs, even though they were at a significantly lower pay scale than what I’d been making.