What will you ‘show’ your kids?
Be Careful Parents. Your Kids are Watching.
They see you!
I saw an old man driving a scooter. He was not alone. His grandson sat behind him while the old man drove all the way down the traffic-stricken road. It was a beautiful scene to look at, especially because you don’t get to see too many kids hanging out with their parents these days, let alone grandparents.
So, there they were, the boy holding his grandpa tight with his little arms around his grandy’s waist while his right cheek was paste-shut on his back. The grandpa himself was slouching a bit forward due to his old age. A grey sweater just made him look even more senile and old. I couldn’t look at their faces but that didn’t matter. I was seeing what I wanted to see.
Anyway, as I rode behind them for a while and then came a curve. We both had to turn and as I already said, a lot of traffic. One thing you have to know is that traffic rules in India are not followed as diligently as in any other country. So, at the curve what the grandy did, made me question how we raise our kids today or we will in the future.
At the curve, the grandpa took a path not meant for riding.
What Kids Learn From You?
What we teach our kids today will show in them tomorrow. If you teach them bad, then do not expect them to stand up to your hypocritical standards of an ideal son and a citizen (of course, exceptions are there).
Even though somehow, they are not like you, there will be traits in them that resemble you and maybe not the good traits. And they may hate themselves for it. The society may too. ‘He is just like his father.’ This sentence can be a proud melody to hear or an unbearable taunt to bear.
Now, when I say to teach, I do not just mean to give them a lecture on good and bad habits. Show them. Show them what is right and wrong through your actions. Kids pick up fast on what you do rather than what you say. Habits have a funny way of latching on us. They are hard to muster but once manifested they are hard to get rid of. This can be a blessing as well as a curse, which depends on the type of habit — good or bad.
“Habits are hard to muster but once manifested they are hard to get rid of.”
The old man might not have known that he is not supposed to break the law or maybe he was also taught the same by another person who he learned it from. Almost every single person here is about breaking the law. We can all fall into the trap of repeating the same mistakes, especially when everyone around us is making them.
It is hard not to make a mistake or break a law when breaking the law IS the norm. You need to have the courage to stand up for what is right. People will try to drag you in the same pool but you must stand your ground and refuse.
It is not easy.
For example, one morning I was late for the office and I hurried all the way on my scooter. I was about to reach a traffic signal and take a U-turn when the signal turned red and I had to stop. Normally in India, you still take a U-turn even when the light is red. So, I tried but there was this guy who refused to move. He was on the front line and there was another scooter behind him and then me. All of us standing behind him were honking at him and gesturing him to either move or take the U-turn but he did not budge. I was quite annoyed at that time but later I understood that he was doing the right thing and not just that, he was ready to put up with our resistance as well. I don’t think I could have done that.
We are nothing but savages if we do not follow rules.
I am glad that there are still people who believe in rules and upholding them when needed. We are nothing but savages if we do not follow rules.
This doesn’t mean that I do not follow rules at all. I am also an orthodox believer in following the rules, chiefly if it concerns others as well. We can cut some slack to ourselves but we have no right to play with the lives of others.
Regulations in western countries are more rigorous but not here in India. We are still a developing country and it is a long way to go. I wrote this post with the Indian audience in mind but the idea applies to all. Watch what you do because the kids are watching too.
Give them something to live up to. Teach by example so that one day they will make you as proud as you wanted to be. Maybe even more.
You cannot control how they turn out later in their adulthood. They may not even turn out as you wanted them to be but that doesn’t matter. What you need to do is do your part. They will do theirs. You cannot control the outcome of anything, ever. You can only put in your efforts and then the rest is outside your ‘circle of influence’ (Seven Habits of Highly Effective People).
Thank you very much for reading, my lovely reader. Don’t forget to follow and share if you liked what you read. :)
