A quick summary of Donald’s speech to the MCAA Winter Conference

Since Donald and his minions do nothing but lie, it’s really not healthy to listen to them. I am willing to make that sacrifice though, and summarize/fact check their announcements for you.

• I love applause
• I love the police
• I’m going to read something you can understand even if you’re stupid
• I am so angry that my Muslim Ban is blocked
• Everyone thinks I’m right, right? Tell me you all agree with me!
• I am going to whine about the courts blocking my Muslim Ban. And moan President Reagan’s name.
• (Donald is reading a law. Stopping every couple words to explain what it means, or to give commentary on what he thinks of the wording)
• This law says I can do whatever I want! Why is anyone saying no to me???
• You all get this, right?
• The 9th circuit court hearing was so confusing. :( I didn’t understand any of it.
• Those mean old judges are ignoring this beautiful, perfect, law.
• I really did not understand anything that the 9th Circuit Court was talking about
• I don’t want to call them biased, but I’m totally going to call them biased
• I like Secretary Kelly
• I did the Muslim Ban perfectly!
• If there were problems, they would be someone else’s fault. Like law enforcement!
• I am so smart
• Like, I’m so much smarter than you guys, but I didn’t understand shit
• It’s disgraceful that people would disagree with me
• That Boston judge agreed! I don’t understand why we can’t just ignore all the other judges. I have a judge now!
• I really don’t understand how the government works
• We are all in danger now!
• I was elected for Law and Order!
• And Juuuoooobs.
• I can read the polls better than anyone and I think all the polls say everyone loves me!
• Cops don’t have enough weapons
• The Democrats are making you less safe to score political points!
• Thanks for serving!
• I love Cops
• The most important thing is moral leadership
• My Supreme Court pick was awesome
• I want to make sure you understand, I will let the police get away with anything they want.
• The USA is SO DANGEROUS YOU GUYS! (No, it’s not)
• YOU ARE ALL GOING TO GET RAPED AND MURDERED!
• CHICAGO IS A WAR ZONE! GANGS ARE TAKING OVER!
• POLICE CRACKDOWN ON BLACK COMMUNITIES!
• THEY WILL GET SHOT IF THEY GO OUTSIDE OR TRY TO GO TO SCHOOL
• DRUGS COMING FROM MEXICO ARE THE BIGGEST PROBLEM!
• I can’t wait to have my wall
• My wall is going to fix everything
• We’re working on designing the wall. A wall takes some serious planning guys.

• Ask Israel! Their walls work!
• We need to take down the gangs!
• Seriously police, understand that you have carte blanche to be as violent as you want
• If anyone stands up to you, we will fuck that person over.
• COPS ARE GETTING MURDERED EVERY DAY! (Again, no.)
• You guys work so long and hard
• President Obama had been working against the police for the last 8 years!
• Complaining about the police hurts America
• Everyone loves the police!
• NEVER BELIEVE ANYTHING ELSE! NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE ELSE SAYS!
• We need to give cops more money too
• Drugs are worse than ever! (Opioid overdoses are at a high.)
• Since the police are locking people up for drug crimes 75%-80% of the time, my solution is to RUTHLESSLY fight drugs! It’s this new plan I have, called the “War on Drugs”. Nobody has ever tried something like this before. (Fact Check: False)
• The wall will solve everything! (The main cause for opioid overdose is Fentanyl. It comes from China. People are getting hooked on opiates through prescription drugs)
• If you give us the names of anyone you think is undocumented, call Sec Kelly and we’ll send people down to just grab that guy and kick him out as fast as I can!
• Oh yeah! And terrorism! That’ll kill you too
• You guys are the best!

Looking to do your part? One way to get involved is to read the Indivisible Guide, which is written by former congressional staffers and is loaded with best practices for making Congress listen. Or follow this publication, connect with us on Twitter, and join us on Facebook.