Classified Memo Tells Intelligence Analysts to Now Send Trump’s Daily Briefing as ALL Emojis.

(Single page briefings, with graphs, charts, maps, deemed WAY too difficult for easily distracted president to absorb.)

By Steven W. Rouach

Much talk has been made of how the Trump administration had advised the national security staff to keep their briefings and papers down to a single page, and to fill them with lots of graphs and charts and maps.

This situation is similar to when George W. Bush requested all daily national security briefings be placed into fortune cookies, with the then president stating: “They’re informative AND delicious!!

Or when Richard Nixon requested all Vietnam information be acted out with Mimes, some of whom were French.

Now, inside sources (from within my own head) tell me that due to Trump’s problems with being easily distracted, the administration now requests that national security staff keep their briefings and papers to all emoji’s.

So to be able to follow along with any highly classified information the KGB will soon release to the public, I’ve created this chart to decipher Trump’s new briefing format.


= Mitch McConnell is here.


= Betsy DeVos is in your office.


= Paul Ryan needs to see you.


= China has released their nuclear arsenal upon us.


= Anything to do with Sarah Palin.


= Paul Ryan has just consumed the Earth.


= Muslim Ban still reversed.


= GOP making medical care affordable by just making sure all poor people are dead.


= We think our jobs were easier when we had a president who was able to read, and now the intelligence community is feeling sad.

SO, Excited by having a new supreme leader who can’t really focus and spends much of his time being unhinged? WE sure are! Let us know your thoughts in the comments below.

(by Steven W. Rouach)

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