SEE YOU IN COURT!
Who Does Donald Trump Think He’s Seeing in Court?
Following his spanking in the 9th Circuit last week, Donald Trump, true to form, responded to his most recent legal defeat on Twitter.
Donald is getting a crash course on the difference between an American president and a Renaissance prince, and he’s quickly using up the nation’s precious exclamation mark reserves in the process.
However long it takes him to learn that he’ll never be as strong as his favorite president, Vladimir Putin, due to the fact that in Russia president means “BOSS” and in America it means “Prime Minister on Steroids”, I remain flummoxed as to who Donald Trump is speaking to when he all-capsed “see you in court” into the shriekiverse.
Here are my guesses:
Judge James Robart
Donald Trump thinks that he’s suing Judge Robart for suspending his immigration ban. Judge Robart has committed the mortal sin of not allowing Donald to do whatever he likes, making him the enemy. Donald Trump now believes that Judge Robart is among the state attorneys general that are suing his administration over the Muslim ban.
The 9th Circuit
Donald Trump believes that the three judges on the 9th Circuit who ruled against him have joined forces with Judge Robart. They’ve locked together into super-powerful judicial Megazord. Steve Bannon will need to grow a hundred feet high to fight and defeat them…IN COURT!
3 Million Illegal Voters
Trump’s woes began when 3 million illegal aliens, voters registered in multiple states, and ghosts conspired to bus around the country to win the popular vote for Hillary Clinton while winning the Electoral College for him. These malcontents are back to their dirty tricks, posing as three judges on the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals, not to mention that “so called” Judge Robart.
Rosie O’Donnell
Like Cher, a total loser. He’d like to take a Muslim ban out of her fat pockets. SAD!
Melania
This has nothing to do with the courts or with the Muslim ban. Safe and away from him in Trump Tower, Melania finally screwed together enough courage to serve divorce papers. As with everything that upsets him — Mexicans, Muslims, those darn kids playing their rap music so loud — Donald Trump is conflating his wounded heart into a national security risk. Without having her to scold, he may decide to scold Australia with an ICBM.
Steve Bannon
SHYAMALAN TWIST!!!
The malevolent genius who twisted fake news into alternative facts, who clutches the alt-right leash, who launched Donald Trump from being a joke-candidate to being a joke-president, is actually President Trump’s secret nemesis; a Darth Sidious setting up his apprentice for destruction.
How surprised will Donald Trump be when he stands before the Supreme Court, face to face with Chief Justice Bannon! Will the other justices ever manage to get the smell of force-lightning and burning spray-tan out of their robes?
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Peter J Roth is a scalawag playwright from Cleveland. Follow him on Twitter @PeterJ_Roth.
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