This Is Why Most New Year’s Resolutions Fail and What To Do About It
I don’t consider myself a fully accomplished anything, but looking at the pace at which I am going about my endeavors, I am quite convinced that I will achieve my dreams in a very good time period. Just to flash some perspective on what I am talking about, back in January 2017, I could hardly finish a book within a week. I had one resolution that year, to read at least two books a day. By May 2017(five months later), I had finally managed to realize the desire to read at least two books a day. My main focus was not to read two books a day ever since, but read and finish books faster whenever I needed. This served me so well that by the end of 2017, I had a finished reading a whooping 65 books one of the most profound ones being The Magic Lamp by Keith Ellis where I learnt the art of brainstorming and Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell where I learnt the power of being in a conducive environment for learning. At the time I was quite concerned about why some learn faster than others, and by the end of the year, I was well conversant with the topic. One take, I don’t like going home since 2017 after reading Malcolm’s Outliers for the mere fact that I can’t thrive there.
In 2018, I embarked on learning architectural design software at a local firm where I was interning where by the end of the year, I managed to learn the software to the point of tutoring people ahead of my class.
In 2019, I started making money from the skills accumulated over the years. And that is where my inspiration for this post is coming from. Looking back at my journey from a mere boy in the hinterlands of Chimembe, Malawi, to a man who is thriving in his endeavors, one thing stand out. New year resolutions don’t work. Let me just give you a picture of my journey for the previous three years:
· 2017 — I got ignited
· 2018 — I started smoldering
· 2019- I started burning
· 2020 — I’m blazing
It’s not a one-year thing. It’s not a “This is my year” thing. It’s a one sweeping move. Building on what we have been doing, one year over another.
Most new year resolutions fail because nothing worthwhile can be accomplished within a year. People get overwhelmed at how much unrealistic their goals are and quit all together. But you have to start lightly and build from there. Years do not have to work in isolation. Take skills developed from the previous years and apply them in the new years. If you’re new to something, start with the basics. Then build from there. Don’t skip steps just to make yourself feel better about the progress you’re making. The process is banausic, ordinary and not refined. But if you stick to it, things will start getting easier and all the hard labor and the painful wait will finally pay off.
If you have a goal in mind, I suggest the first step is defining the map. By that I mean, find out what it takes to move from where you are to where you want to be. Map it out. Then find out on what level of competence you are on this chart. Then next year your resolution should be to start and stick with it until you see the results that you want to see. If you do not see the results by the end of next year, don’t quit. It simply takes longer than you thought. How would you know? You’ve never done it. Then in the other year (2021), build on what you developed in 2020.
If you built from scratch and reached that far by December 2020, imagine how far you’ll reach by December 2021 if you continue building on what you already have. That’s how we grow. Now, if you did have the map laid out, you will know exactly where you are and how far you’re from your destination and make a more plausible projection about how long it might take you to cover a certain distance. If you keep at it, year after year, finally you will have reached a point where you will accomplish your dream.
You don’t need a new year’s resolution. You don’t need a new resolution. You just need to stick with your resolution across a number of years. Where are you at? Where are you going? What’s outstanding? That’s all.
You won’t just wake up one day get bitten by a spider and bang!!! Next morning you’re spinning webs. A lot of people quit because they think they are not good enough, but no. You’re just everything you were meant to be. If only you would work on bringing it out. Diamonds don’t sparkle without polishing and a gemstone is not polished without rubbing. And let me break it out for you, the process is so boring and ordinary that it makes you think that you’re nothing special.
Sometimes you will fail no matter how hard you try and you’ll think you’re not good enough. When you finally master it, you will feel like it is nothing special because you had to struggle to master it. But, that doesn’t mean that it was not worth it. Embracing this fact that most worthwhile things feel nothing special to accomplish, you’ll be surprised at how much you’ll accomplish over the years.
