How I Stopped Life’s Rejections From Sending Me Spiraling Into Severe Depression!
‘Its a tough ol’ world!”
I heard my mother say this countless times while I was growing up. It was so unsettling!
I can understand why she felt this way. She was from the old school way of thought where you get a job and stay with it for a lifetime, even if you’re miserable doing it, receive low pay, while having to deal with an impossible boss and nasty co-workers.
I knew from an early age that this was not the life I wanted. I would rather swallow a whole bottle of volume chased with a gallon of Jack Daniels, and check out then subject myself to such a dreadful existence.
So what is the alternative? Get a good education and make something of yourself!
Did I know what that something was? Hell no!
So I studied to be a high school English teacher, got a bachelor degree in liberal Arts in 1982, interned at a high school, applied for several jobs, got rejected than gave up because it wasn’t what I wanted to do anyway.
Now I had student loan debt and the bills didn’t stop coming in so I had to do something.
Like most people in my situation I did what I had to do to survive. I took menial jobs like cocktail waitressing at an Elks Lodge, landscaping, and working with people with disabilities.
For 15 years I also worked as a Licensed Massage Therapist in Florida and Colorado.
I really got no joy from any of it but it at least it paid the bills just barely
The one thing that brought me happiness was playing the guitar, learning, and writing songs.
In the 1990’s I also picked up the mandolin and after visiting Hawaii in 2001, I also started playing the ukulele
I eventually got good enough to get some gigs playing out at restaurants, Clubs, and retirement homes.
But even that was not without dealing
With lots of criticism and rejection.
Here is what has gotten me thru the many rejections and kept me from descending into doom and gloom
1. I Stopped Comparing Myself With Other People
When I used to see other people doing better than I was, my knee jerk reaction was to feel envious or jealous.
Even on this Medium site I’ll see articles like
“How I Got 500 followers On Medium In My First 30 Days!”
Now I put my ego aside and read these articles to find tips in how I can improve and reach that level of success. I start reading more if that writers articles commenting and asking questions.
I just have to keep following my own path and I believe my followers will come as I develop better writing and communication skills.
2. I Stopped Listening To Criticisms From Toxic People
Constructive criticism is often beneficial but criticism from toxic people is not meant to help. They’re just cruel jabs to tear down your self esteem and have you question your self confidence.
The worst critics I’ve known are people who can’t do anything themselves so they criticize anything other people do!
One time back in the 1990’s, after I finished entertaining at The Main Street Depot in Sarasota, Florida, a middle aged guy brutally trashed me out telling me how horribly I played and sang.
I was so brought down after this guy’s relentless bashing, I went home and cried my eyes out.
Later I found out more about who he was. He was a homeless guy who worked at Labor World. He didn’t play an instrument and didn’t know anything about music.
He wouldn’t have known the difference between a pentatonic scale and a bathroom scale!
I also found out he was just a mean spirited hateful person in general and his opinion did not concur with those of most of my listeners
Another article I would recommend about not caring about what toxic people think is by The Empathic Warrior. “Why, Why Should I Care What Toxic People Think Of Me?”. He also has some great articles about dealing with narcissists
3. I Think About The Successes I’ve Had And Feel Gratitude
Rejections can overshadow all of the successes and blessings in life.
I’m thankful just for having good health.
I got to play in some terrific musical
bands like “Soulspeak” Spoken Word Group in Sarasota, Florida, the Mostlies Parody Group, in Fort Collins, Colorado, and “The Kokopelli Moonlighters” in Cuenca Ecuador.
I’m thankful for getting to travel the world and have so many life experiences something many people dream of doing.
I’m thankful for the success of finishing every article.
If you have ways you have overcome rejection, please share them in the. comments. I would love to hear them.
