Night and day are full of fear

Today I’m living my scariest dystopian narrative

There are still nights when I go to bed under the accompaniment of drone explosions and try to fall asleep on the pillow of fear. Fearful sleeping is not about comfort, but it is about adapting to and surviving dreadful circumstances. In the morning, when I lift my head, my hair is soaked up in fear and its particles form a scary crown on my head. The king stands up and the fear follows him, wherever he goes.

My right hand reaches out for the phone and the news feed screams at me with insults, disrespect and threats for being in need of help. As someone who has sought to defend truth my whole life, today I’m living my scariest dystopian narrative – lies and fraud are so normalised they become the fabric of our reality. We’re drowning in this black, sticky slurry and it gets into our eyes, our ears, and our thoughts. We start to believe that, perhaps, the truth is somewhere at the bottom of this toxic lake and we dive deep seeking it – but all there is only more and more drowning in lies. No salvation there, no redemption and no revenge.

Truth is no longer sought out, but it is condemned, ridiculed and attacked. Truth is the victim, so if you feel victimised and bullied I have a word of consoling for you – you’re probably just being right and seeking the truth…