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The Great Sorting Hat of German Education
Forget wands and spell — in Germany, the Sorting Hat comes with grades, tests, and endless pressure.
I have this Kiwi friend married to a German. They’re both free spirits who exude a kind of laid-back, bohemian charm that makes you want to walk on the beach and just feel happy. We met back in 2018 when our eldest kids bonded instantly at forest kindergarten — because of course, free-spirited kids thrive in the woods with mud kitchens and sticks.
Fast forward to 2020, and they packed up for New Zealand, not just to escape Germany’s Covid lockdowns but because — shock horror! — their parenting style didn’t quite align with the school system here.
How the hat works
In Germany, homeschooling is basically illegal. Unless you have some ironclad religious or legal reason (and a mountain of paperwork to prove it), it’s not happening. The Germans call this Schulpflicht — compulsory education — because every child deserves the joy of structured learning, daily tests, and enough homework to question the meaning of life.
This all started back in the 16th century when Martin Luther, during the Protestant Reformation, thought, “Hey, let’s teach both boys and girls.” Progressive for his time, yes, but he…
