Contrasting lives of men and women in Ukraine

Some can travel freely while others are afraid to leave their houses

I often think about travel with a bitter taste in my mouth — from coffee overconsumption and from realising how many trips I didn’t make because of the war. In the last three years, I’ve only visited one country — Poland — twice to get a visa and return to Ukraine. With my boyfriend banned from leaving the country based on his sex, I stay put in solidarity because going somewhere on my own is a luxury I can’t afford financially. I travel to different cafes in Kyiv as a substitute for travelling to other countries. It’s a poor and ineffective alternative, but it’s the one I still embrace.

I wish I wouldn’t need to write this, but when I come to a cafe, I do try to avoid sitting close to women — especially groups of them. Just yesterday, two women sat beside me and talked about their trips to Italy and Monaco. Last month, I had multiple occasions of women siting next to me and speaking of their travels to Spain, Portugal and England — some retelling whole years of living abroad and having exciting experiences in those countries.

That’s something I never hear from men in cafes these days, which is a problem, too. I wish men would speak out more instead of playing this game of not joining the army but…