Being a control freak only gets you so far. Here’s how I know. (I took pottery.)
If you’ve ever wondered if you have control issues, learn how to throw pottery. (I don’t mean toss a coffee mug at someone, I mean take a class.)
I’ve been taking classes for about a month or so now. I almost quit after that first day.
The point is to get the clay centered first and foremost. It didn’t look too hard to do. The teacher had his centered in like 3 seconds. But guess what?
That 1 1/2 pound lump of stuff took me on a ride. Like the Scrambler at the State Fair, I was thrown all over the place.
It felt insane. How could this be? So I clamped down harder and gritted my teeth. Squeezed the clay like it was some squishy stress toy.
That clay did not want to be owned. And my stress was mounting.
It didn’t seem to matter how hard I pushed and shoved. How firmly I had my arms on the wheel casing for leverage. (See example A: the bruise.) It didn’t matter how much I wanted to control it. And ohhhh how I wanted to control it.
I left that first class cussing under my breath at what a stupid thing throwing pottery was. I grumbled about how it was not for me. What was I thinking taking this insane class.
And then I realized that feeling welling up in my chest— that frustration, anger and defeatism, was all about me needing to be in control. I was shocked. Embarrassed. Humbled. But also it was an ah-ha moment. I could quit or I could learn and maybe fix some bigger issues in my life I didn’t realize might be plaguing me.
I went back the next day with a new attitude.
Ironically enough, you must be centered to center clay.
You must be willing to negotiate with it, but not too much. Be respectful of it. Work with it, not against it. Know that it will not bend to your will. (Umm… a lot like people you work with or live with or are friends with.)
So I closed my eyes. I felt the clay in my hands. I talked to it. I sensed what it wanted. How far it’d let me go before it spun out of control. And then I pulled back. I stopped the wheel. Took a few breaths. Laughed at myself. And tried again.
Now, I have learned to center almost perfectly. But some days it doesn’t center even after 4 or 5 tries. I call my teacher over and ask for guidance. Unheard of for me. But I’m learning so much about life from this little glob of wet dirt.
The thing I realized is, I thought I needed to control my life and the events and people affecting the outcome I have in mind. Push that. Nudge this. Steamroll over that. Manipulate this. I guess it made me feel safe. But it doesn’t work. Ultimately nothing is in my control except my attitude.
And when I work collaboratively, when I listen and bend and sometimes just stop, breathe and ask for help, I can truly see that we’re all connected and life is an ever-shifting thing. And that’s ok.
I am actually a much calmer, happy-go-lucky person now after only a few months of this pottery thing. Maybe I still have some control freak left in me, but I’m working on it. I gotta tell you, it feels so good to be free of the pressure of needing to be in control. I didn’t realize how much energy that was eating up.
LESSON LEARNED: Control is an illusion that sucks you dry, eats away at your happiness and doesn’t go over well at work or home.
My new motto: Just let it go and throw (pottery). :-)
If you relate to this at all, or maybe you feel repulsed at the idea of what I just described, find your nearest pottery class and take a whirl. But be forewarned. It will test you to your core. (In a good way if you let it.)
