Breakfast anyone? Say no, if you dare!
I never understand why mom thinks using a rag is a better way to stop the water in the sink. She says it slowly goes down and she can keep her seedlings watered for longer. I roll my eyes everytime she says this because I don’t see how she doesn’t understand that’s bad math.
I’ve been getting ready for work and I’ve learned from a recent mistake. If I’m going to survive living at home it’s better to refrain from getting into these debates with mom. Besides my mom used to belong to a cult and one of the lasting side effects has been obsessive cleaning and gardening. It’s like she’s replaced her God complex with dirt. She’s either getting rid of it or using it to create.
“Mom have you seen my pink scarf, I can’t find it in the bathroom and I that’s where I left it.”
“Pink scarf? I’ve never seen a pink scarf around here!”
“Mom I left it next to the green towel in the bathroom. I wore it on Tuesday and you said you liked it.”
“Check the laundry, I went in there and put a bunch in the basket, maybe it’s there.”
I go over to the laundry basket and rummage around. It’s there sitting under a pair of jeans. I sniff it to see if it smells like dirty socks. Just to be safe I go into my bedroom and grab my perfume and spray. First the scarf, then myself and then the area in front of me and walk through the mist. I glance at myself in the mirror and realize I’ve forgotten my pearl earrings.
“Did you find it Dana?” mom yells from the kitchen.
“Yes I found it, thanks mom”
I grab my purse off the bed and rush to the front door.
“Have a great day mom, I’ll see you later.”
“Dana, I made breakfast for you, if you’re not going to eat it take it for lunch. I’ll pack it up, it’ll only take a minute. Don’t be so busy you forget yourself. I mean you have to eat something.”
I want to protest. I want to tell her that I’m going to be late but the last time this happened we ended up in such a fight my entire morning was wrecked. I put down my bag and breathe before entering the kitchen. She looks over to me and I force my face to smile. In my mind I remind myself, “path of least resistance.”
Without warning, my smile sets her off.
“I woke up early and made this breakfast I think the least you could do is eat it. I don’t understand how you could always tell me about my time management and then you can’t even make time to eat.”
I sigh and remain silent. Now she starts the fire. She’s not looking at me on purpose. I’m about to say I don’t want tea when she says,
“You know if you don’t drink something hot in the morning you’ll get gas like your father.”
I have no patience left. I look at the clock and this irritates her further.
“You know what Dana, this tea is going to take one minute. I’ve already made the sandwich. Here”
She slides the coconut bake and eggs over to me.
“Thanks mom.”
I retreat to the dining room table where my father is sitting with today’s newspaper. The headline reads: “High School Coach Sentenced To 10 Years For Rape.”
“Morning Dad. I’m so late!”
“Dana, don’t let your mother hear you please. Joy, let me get a slice of coconut bake too, with some cheese!”
“Dad is there a reason you can’t go and get it yourself?” I have a puzzled look on my face as I always do when he makes these requests.
Mom walks into the room with tea for me and I smile and say “Thank you mom!”
She walks over and serves Dad coconut bake with cheese and butter. She puts a teacup down and pours him a cup of tea. As she walks back to the kitchen he says,
“Joy, bring the pepper sauce for me”
I growl, “Please!” and give him a stern look. “You can at least say please Dad!”
“Dana oh gosh, don’t start with me please. Hurry up and eat your food. You’re late!”
I allow myself to chuckle and let it go because these morning interactions have had a way of ruining my day. I finally finish eating, place my cup on top of my plate and start walking to the kitchen.
From the dining room I hear Dad call out to me, “Dana bring some more tea for me!”
I stop in my tracks and glare at him. To this he drops the paper and looks up and says, “Please!”
At this point it’s time to go, I pour his tea, kiss his forehead, hug my mom and she holds onto me and says a prayer for my safety.
“Amen mom, love you, see you later!”
These morning routines are a work day before the work day. At least this time the battles were minimal. With a full belly I walk out to the car and I’m off to work, scheduled to be 30 minutes late. Thankfully I accepted this inevitability back at the dining table. I just remind myself to breathe because in the end it will be fine.
