Homeless in the Atlas Mountains, I Sought God — and Found Myself Instead
Now, I can speak freely about my lack of belief
My name is Itto Outini, and I am a Fulbright alumn from Morrocco. I am completely blind and currently an asylee in the United States.
I was born of a Jewish Berber father and Muslim Arab mother in the Atlas Mountains of Morrocco. My parents died when I was little. I was shoveled from home to home, abused, neglected, deprived of my childhood and the warmth of love that a normal child receives from loved ones.
I started to question my existence in this world as soon as I was aware of it. I didn’t attend school as a young child, and as a result, I didn’t know how to read or write. I wasn’t taught my birthday or my last name.
I was raised Jewish mixed with an ancient religion that would pray to fire. When I was about twelve, I was shifted to my mother’s family where I was introduced to Islam for the first time. I was converted and forced to practice things I never understood. I was sexually abused. In addition, I was forced to accept that as a female I wasn’t worth anything and that I would be treated like trash.
My uncle’s wife blinded me when I was seventeen. I was neglected yet again and this time I became homeless.
