If She Doesn’t Obey You, Hit Her

As an ex-Muslim woman, raised and lived in Muslim environments, I will tell you in plain English why Islam is sexist and how the Quran does NOT give women their rights, in fact, it degrades them.

I will be directly talking about a part of a very particular verse that deserves anger and a revolution against it.

First, I’ll assume that the Quran is written by God because Muslim people believe so. So I will put myself in their shoes.

Surat an-Nisa’ (“Women”), Chapter Four of the Quran, Verse 4:34:

Men are the caretakers of women, as men have been provisioned by Allah over women and tasked with supporting them financially. And righteous women are devoutly obedient and, when alone, protective of what Allah has entrusted them with. And if you sense ill-conduct from your women, advise them ˹first˺, ˹if they persist,˺ do not share their beds, ˹but if they still persist,˺ then discipline them ˹gently˺. But if they change their ways, do not be unjust to them. Surely Allah is Most High, All-Great.

I have so much to talk about this verse but I would like to focus on what has been written in bold:

“…discipline them gently”.

This is the translation of ٱضْرِبُوهُنَّ ۖ which literally means in Arabic: “hit them” and not “discipline them gently”. There are two arguments I will be talking about:

• One, the fact that God believes that women are in need of someone to discipline them because they can’t discern between the right and wrong. Women should obey their husband because he knows best. God clearly gave her no rights to take a decision on her own only if her husband approves. If a woman is intellectually less than a man and needs someone to discipline her, how does God expect her to raise generations?
• Two, the fact that women are NOT free human beings. The verse literally says “hit them”. As a wife, she has to obey. And if she doesn’t obey, her husband has the right to hit her. The idea itself boils my blood because of how someone has the right to hit her if they don’t like her behavior. She is under control and is unable to do whatever she wants without her husband’s consent. She is basically a slave to her husband. Her body and life are no longer hers unless she gets a divorce, which is another absurd story that I will be writing about in another blog.

Imagine a husband getting hit and controlled by his wife for not listening to her. Sounds weird, right? But not weird when it is the other way around?

This is one human right that is taken away from Muslim women in Islam; the freedom of taking decisions which is the basic right of every human being.

And do you know what part of it is sad? the part that a huge number of Muslim women believe in it…