The Beginning of Doubt
By Rex Dishman, RfR volunteer
I know that my mother loved me and sought the best for me. However, having been indoctrinated and “saved” in a fundamentalist and evangelical religion, my mother provided, through church attendance, the same indoctrination to me as a child. I began to doubt the tenets of this religion at an early age and my eventual complete deconversion has been a very long and painful process. Many decades later, I am still recovering from religion. The focus of this blog is on those early doubts, which I kept to myself because they pitted me against the beliefs of many family members, people who loved me.
The Church of God in New Castle, Indiana was a scary place for a little kid. There was much talk and preaching about damnation, hellfire, and unending torture. This particular church was not affiliated with other churches that also used the name Church of God. Many of the residents of this small midwestern town, like my parents, had migrated from rural Kentucky. They migrated in order to get away from poor farming communities and find work in the industrial plants in central Indiana. This offered a decent wage and a better life. However, these migrants brought with them that “Old Time Religion,” and many fundamentalist churches sprang up as a result.
“Getting Saved” meant committing your life to the service of Jesus Christ. This was…
