The Sky Without God
Ditching the baggage of belief
Submitted by Shanon Nebo, Recovering from Religion board member
My belief in God, and my introduction to religion, began when I was four or five years old. Instilled in me was a sort of non-denominational conservatism. I knew that I was supposed to honor my mother and father. I knew, even then, that I was supposed to be sweet, chaste, and innocently compliant. There was a heaviness to these responsibilities that fell in step with my genetic predisposition toward anxiety.
God was to be my champion against all the evils of this world (and the next) for as long as I pleased him and beseeched his forgiveness. I was made aware of the cruelty and danger of demons and Satan early in my belief. The monsters under the bed were laughed away as childish fiction while the monsters of Hell materialized into every shadow and feeling. Who needs the bogeyman when you have Satan?
These fears haunted me throughout my childhood and into my early adulthood. I felt unsafe often and cried myself to sleep many nights while praying. Although it was claimed that God loved unconditionally, it seemed like there actually were some conditions, and I was always afraid of being found wanting by my holy protector. Looking back, I know that what I thought were demons were actually panic attacks and episodes of high…
