Using Anger After Being Taught to Suppress It
It’s healthy to feel mad in moderation
Many of us who were raised in religious homes learned that being angry is always wrong. We were meant to be meek, submissive, respectful little children, and it didn’t matter what we were upset about — expressing anger was automatically bad. So we stuffed it down and found other ways to cope with our frustrations.
To some extent, I can see the reasoning behind teaching kids not to be angry. Even as an atheist I think it’s best to be patient and loving whenever possible. Lashing out with rage can be hurtful, and compared to tactful communication, it’s usually an ineffective way to engage with people.
However, anger itself is not a bad thing: it can show us where our boundaries are being crossed and motivate us to fix injustices. Used mindfully, it’s a vital tool for understanding our internal emotional landscape. Denying anger is probably just as detrimental to our health as suppressing joy or grief.
Some people have the opposite problem of using rage in destructive ways or defaulting to anger instead of processing deeper emotions. This particular article is not addressed to them. Maybe someday I will write about healthy ways to process excessive anger.
