Bad Questions
Client: “I don’t have any overview of the business. The book-keeping is good, but I don’t get any high level financial feedback to help me understand our performance.”
Salesman: “So, I hear you don’t have good enough management information, why don’t you buy our accounting system to solve that?”
Oh no! Not again. Tempted by bias towards what we want, we ask what we think is a question, but in reality is a poorly disguised attempt to close a sale; far too early.
Poor questioning technique can feel abrupt, impersonal, self-interested and often destroys rapport.
On the other hand good questioning technique is one of the most important attributes of the successful leader. Being able to use a variety of question types adeptly is powerful. It can unravel a flawed initiative on the one hand, and build deep appreciation on the other.
The real key to this skill is self-awareness, more than technical knowledge.
Great questioning, together with integrity and placing others before self, can be a magic formula.
I normally find my coaching clients have an intellectual understanding of questions and question types, but rarely much practical ability.
They need to work on:
- Physical practice of the different uses of question types.
- The confidence to ask uncluttered open questions: “What is performance like?”
- The patience to wait, and watch for answers.
- Attention to less obvious messages (emotion in tone, eye, and complexion for example), as well as listening to the explicit words.
- Staying with an issue until its done.
- Real interest about the person they are with and none about their own outcome from the conversation.
Taking notes while asking questions can be a big problem. Attention goes to the notes.
Location has a significant bearing on this too. Where the meeting happens has a big impact on how people are primed to respond and what they might tell you.
When using questioning as a tool to help someone else (once your question options are second nature) the most important skills are; the ability to quiet the mind, and to raise attention.
And the simplest questions facilitate the quietness of true attention.
Attention to others is the best way to appreciate them, and appreciation is a great gift.
How do you and your team do on this?
Feel free to connect with me here or by email (below) privately to discuss these thoughts and others.
Nick Mayhew — Managing Director at Alembic Strategy
nick.mayhew@alembicstrategy.com
