How is “conversion therapy” reflective of a larger heteronormative/heterosexist culture?
Book response on Boy Erased by Garrard Conley.
We all learn from a very young age who and what we should be attracted to. To set the scene, hypothetically, you are born a female: you are to have long hair, wear pink, play with dolls, and spend your life trying to find your prince charming. Alternately, you are born a male: you are to have short hair, wear blue, play with trucks and dirt, and seek a princess. It is brutally clear that we are crafted into a society that glorifies and pushes our sexual orientation onto one another by being primarily heterosexual. This theme is noted in the memoir Boy Erased by Garrard Conley where the author takes the reader on a descriptive and eye-opening experience of conversion therapy and all the emotions that come with it. In Conley’s writing, the reader can see the clear heteronormative and heterosexist culture we are born into through evidence of a socially constructed society in regards to sex and gender, conflict with religion, and obvious construction of a heterosexual institution.
As referenced previously, the assignment of gender and how one should look, act, speak, is direct evidence of a truly socially constructed society in regards to sex and gender. For instance, the mere fact that there are labels on sexual preference and sex itself in the attempt to create classification proves a socially constructed society in regards to sex and gender (Gordon & Abbott, “The Social Constructionists Essential Guide to Sex”). To dive deeper, it can be understood that to tell if something is socially constructed one can look at the meanings of words and see how they change across cultures and throughout history (Gordon & Abbott, “The Social Constructionists Essential Guide to Sex”). As a society, we attempt to categorize, label pro-creative sex and non-procreative sex, adapt our language to sexuality and see social purists trying to control public sex norms (Gordon & Abbott, “The Social Constructionists Essential Guide to Sex”). All of these efforts that actively take place in today’s society stand as evidence of a socially constructed society in terms of sex and gender, which is in and of itself outwardly heterosexist.
Conley reinforces this conception when he describes his rape by David and how that affected his “progress” in conversion therapy, LIA. As stated, “There was nothing to do now but hide, wait for the current to calm, and try to find a cure” (Conley, 2016, pg. 169). It is a known fact that rape is wrong, but the idea that Conley felt as if he had inflicted it onto himself because of his sexuality and didn’t feel that he had any other resources to help him besides work to “find a cure” stands to show how conversion therapy presents itself as a gateway to a heterosexual life of which certain rules now apply. For instance, if Conley were to be raped by a woman compared to a man, he would feel more validated in knowing his rape was not due to his sexuality, but rather alternate reasons that fall on the person who committed the rape. Had Conley not felt the pressure to be “cured” via conversion therapy, then he would have felt more heard in his reflection of his rape which therefore proves that Conley was not only victim to a socially constructed society in terms of sexual orientation, but also that because of the nature of conversion therapy, Conley was also victim to a heterosexist culture which is why he felt as if his rape was his fault because it was a man on man. Also mentioned in the memoir, “LIA was the oldest and largest residential ex-gay therapy facility in the country. If they couldn’t turn me straight, then no one could” (Conley, 2016, pg. 199). This quote is evidence of social purists trying to control society’s perception of sexuality through the existence and practice of conversion therapy. As it stands, this then results in conversion therapy being a clear indicator of a very large heterosexist society as Conley was forced to believe that he could be “fixed” due to conversion therapy.
Conley’s story is not only impacted by the pre-existing social construction of sexuality but is also deeply impacted by religion. Conley’s father was a priest and when he found out Conley was homosexual, he drew a lot of concern to the church and what people in the church would think of a priest having a homosexual son. At one point, Conley’s father mentions that Conley “‘doesn’t need a doctor. All he needs is to read the Bible more’” (Conley, 2016, pg. 198). This quote emphasizes the impact that religion had on Conley’s life and how it derived the main decision for Conley to attend conversion therapy. LIA had religious roots in its teachings, which draws the connection between a heterosexist community birthed by religion and how Conley’s specific conversion therapy used that as a way to manipulate and try to “convert” him. Religion is an institution that feeds and supports heterosexuality (Hatch, Feb. 7, 2022), which signifies proof that due to conversion therapy being religion-based, it is representative of society as a whole and demonstrative of a heterosexist culture. Similarly, hate crime motivation often stems from religion (Hatch, Feb. 7, 2022), which once again stands as evidence in proving the existence of a heterosexist society and why conversion therapy is set up to support those whose religious beliefs are heterosexist. Conley repeats the phrase “Lord make me pure” many times throughout the memoir (Conley, 2016, pg. 264). The repetition of the phrase works to show heteronormativity in society on a larger scale. As Conley is praying to be considered “pure” in the eyes of God, it serves as evidence of how society focuses heavily on one’s sexuality and how it is predominately heterosexual leaning. In relationship to conversion therapy, since religion is a tactic used in practice, it is obvious that religion plays a key role and reflects a large group of society in how conversion therapy feeds a heteronormative and heterosexist society on a larger scale.
Conley’s conversion therapy was primarily religion-based, same with his life, school, typical friends, and so on. The weight that religion bore in Conley’s life is what drove a lot of the exposure to the heteronormative and heterosexist culture that we live in today. Conley spent a large part of his memoir relating his experiences to God in a positive and reliant way until the end when he exclaims, “‘Fuck God fuck God fuck God’” as Conley realizes his entire perception of the world has been shaped and based off of religion (Conley, 2016, pg. 275). This is important to relate to conversion therapy because likely without the existence of religion, there would not be conversion therapy. The impact that religion has on society as a whole feeds conversion therapy organizations and those who go to conversion therapy usually do so because of the established heterosexist ideals that typically come along with what is preached in church. This all goes to show the direct link between conversion therapy and heterosexism and how this is reflective of a society that can be primarily religious.
The institution of heterosexuality runs through the veins of today’s culture and is exposed quite easily through Conley’s story. For instance, Conley describes a doctor’s visit with Dr. Julie later in the memoir in which she addresses his homosexuality and how he can accept it and live with it like she has seen many people do before (Conley, 2016, pg. 271). This experience is very powerful because it not only went against the advice in conversion therapy that Conley was experiencing, but it also goes against the institution of heterosexuality, which was an environment Conley was living in being from the South. The impact of this experience on Conley is clear and in doing so expands upon the idea that each person is assumed heterosexual from birth (Hatch, Jan. 31, 2022). This experience and the evidence demonstrating a heterosexual institutional society carries over to Conley’s conversion therapy that he was receiving to point out the unjust nature of the program and how it directly feeds a heteronormative and heterosexist culture. Also mentioned in the book, “Masculine meant strong. Masculine meant straight. If we could only learn the essence of what it means to be masculine, then we could learn the rest” (Conley, 2016, pg. 281). Conley was experiencing the teaching of being masculine in conversion therapy. For reference, it is mentioned at one point by Conley that during his conversion therapy there was work done to try and find the roots of his homosexual inclination. It was believed that because of Conley’s lack of participation in sports when younger, he was pushed down the more homosexual path. It is understood that this is an obvious social construct as it is known that the media shapes the perception of scripts and language in society (Fitzgerald & Grossman, 2021, Chapter Seven), which is why Conley’s lack of participation in sports made him “unmasculine” and fed the heteronormative and heterosexist nature in his conversion therapy. The institution of heterosexuality creates these conceptions between masculine and feminine, which the reader saw Conley reference when discussing an element of his conversion therapy.
The memoir, Boy Erased by Gerrard Conley serves as a voice against conversion therapy and how it is a product of and plays a role in a heterosexist and heteronormative society. We live in a socially constructed society pertaining to sex and gender which is why conversion therapy can receive ongoing support. Similarly, religion not only played a large role in Conley’s story, but it also affects how most conversion therapies are run today due to their general religion-based “therapy.” Conley brought attention to how culture is primarily religious and how that can be representative of a heterosexist and heteronormative society of people and why those in conversion therapy are religious. Lastly, Conley exposes the heterosexual institution that we see every day. In each experience Conley discusses, it is easy to pick out what heterosexual institutional ideal is at-bat. The memoir, Boy Erased by Gerrard Conley serves as an immediate reference on how conversion therapy is inherently affecting the heterosexual and heteronormative ideals that plow their way through society today.
