Ranking Billy Joel’s Album Covers

If you know me, you likely know that Billy Joel is far and away my favorite artist of all time. His combination of prowess in the departments of writing lyrics, composing music, and especially performing, whether it be in the studio or in concert, makes him one of the all-around most talented people in the history of music. Another aspect of Joel’s musicianship that makes him among the, if not the, best in music history is his versatility. Listening to “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” one time is all you really need to know about how wide of a range of genre-transcending musical talent he has.

For the sake of this post, however, I will not be focusing on the Piano Man’s individual songs (I’ll save that for later); instead, I will be doing something that we’re always warned against: judging the books (in this case, albums) by their covers.

I know, it’s dangerous, but Danger is my middle name.

**NOTE: For the purpose of these rankings, only Mr. Joel’s studio albums will be considered, which means live albums such as Songs in the Attic or Kontsert will not be considered, nor will compilation albums such as Greatest Hits, Volumes I, II, and III or Billy Joel: The Complete Albums Collection (which is a must listen). Also out of consideration is Billy’s classical album Fantasies and Delusions. Not that I have anything against classical music, except I kinda do, but the songs aren’t even performed by Long Island’s Favorite Son, they’re played by Richard Joo; Joel just composed the tunes.**

Now, let’s get down to the nitty gritty.

12. Cold Spring Harbor (1971)

For those who don’t know the story behind the album, the whole thing was a disaster. When the album was mastered, all of the songs got sped up, which resulted in Joel sounding like a “Chipmunk”, as he put it. When he first heard the album, he ripped the record off the turntable and threw it into the street.

The whole ordeal caused Joel to avoid the recording studio, and he began hiding out in piano bars in Los Angeles, which eventually gave rise to his signature song “Piano Man”. Cold Spring Harbor did eventually get remixed to sound correct, and there are some good songs on it, such as “Everybody Loves You Now”, “The Falling of the Rain”, “Tomorrow is Today”, and “She’s Got a Way”.

As for the album cover, it goes to show that our first efforts are rarely our best. The black-and-white picture and cluttered background are hard on the eyes. However, this album cover does have a small argument for being his best, as it is the only one that showcases Mr. Joel with his long, hippy-ish mop and thick mustache. He’s sort of got a John Oates vibe about him.

11. Streetlife Serenade (1974)

When Streetlife Serenade was first released, critics didn’t have many nice things to say about it, which would become a recurring theme throughout Joel’s career. Streetlife followed Mr. Joel’s breakthrough album, Piano Man, placing abnormally high expectations and demeaning the quality of the music. The public often puts down sequels simply for the fact that they’re not the same as their predecessors, however, often times sequels are just as good as, if not better than, their predecessors (see Shrek and Shrek 2). Streetlife Serenade has great songs such as “The Entertainer”, “Roberta”, “The Last of the Big Time Spenders”, “Weekend Song”, “Los Angelenos”, and “The Great Suburban Showdown” that make it Joel’s most underrated album, in my opinion.

That being said, the album’s cover art is, for the most part, good looking, however it is too plain to be considered a good cover. It looks kinda like what would happen if Bob Ross painted an urban setting. Bob Ross didn’t paint urban settings.

10. The Nylon Curtain (1982)

Much like the previous album in this ranking, The Nylon Curtain’s cover is not bad looking. However, it is a little too plain for its own good. I think this cover would serve much better for a paperback novel about a lonely and disenchanted housewife, however, for a pop-rock album, this cover falls a little short.

If the idea of a novel about a lonely and disenchanted housewife written by Billy Joel just popped into your head like it did mine, look up “Stop in Nevada” from the Piano Man album. It’s not a novel, but it’s got everything else covered. Imagine a country-western take on Kate Chopin. Considering the stories of hardship apparent on this album with songs like “Allentown”, “Goodnight Saigon”, “Pressure”, and “Where’s the Orchestra”, I feel the album’s cover should be grittier and less pretty.

9. Piano Man (1973)

This is by far Joel’s creepiest album cover. The black-and-white filter makes the Piano Man look like a Piano Corpse whose eyes are still alive enough to stare into your soul and make you shiver.

After debating with myself whether or not this creepiness was better than the plainness of Streetlife Serenade and The Nylon Curtain, I decided to give Piano Man the bump for one reason: I like the cursive font of “Billy Joel/Piano Man” in small letters above the zombie’s floofy hair.

8. The Bridge (1986)

I’ve been a fan of this album cover since I was a little kid. I’ve always thought it was cool and mysterious and visually appealing. Who doesn’t love 50 Shades of Blue? The reason why it is not ranked higher is because I don’t think it fits all too well with the album, or with Joel himself. I mentioned that the album is cool and mysterious; Joel has never been known for being super cool or mysterious. Also, this cover has an edgy, New Wave, almost Tron-like feel to it. While there is some New Wave influence on this album in songs like “Running On Ice”, “Code of Silence”, “A Matter of Trust”, and “This is the Time”, I wouldn’t say that this is overall a New Wave album. I think this album cover would better suit the Police or R.E.M. (By the way, “A Matter of Trust” is Joel’s most kickass song. If you’re not familiar with it, familiarize yourself with it immediately.)

7. Storm Front (1989)

This cover beats out The Bridge’s because it better fits the album. With hard-driving songs such as “That’s Not Her Style”, “The Downeaster ‘Alexa’”, “I Go to Extremes”, “Shameless”, and “State of Grace”, this album is overall Joel’s heaviest from a sonic standpoint, and the cover of a hurricane flag in the eye of a storm represents that. Also, unlike The Bridge, there is actually a song on this album with the name “Storm Front”, which is a plus in my opinion. What are the odds that the picture of the flag was taken on Joel’s own boat?

6. The Stranger (1977)

Joel’s back at it again with the creepy faces on his album covers, however, this time it’s not his own face, but rather a creepy mask.

Also, Joel’s back at it again with the black-and-white filters.

As the old saying goes, the third time is the charm, as this cover is leaps and bounds ahead of the first two B&Ws in Joel’s catalog, Cold Spring Harbor and Piano Man.

I just noticed that Joel’s barefoot in this picture. If he’s barefoot then he’s obviously ready for bed, so why is he still wearing his suit? I know that Billy Joel always wears a suit, but he can’t possibly wear his suit as pajamas. Or can he? That dilemma is the main reason why this cover doesn’t rank higher on this list, but overall, it’s a very aesthetically pleasing cover, with the boxing gloves on the wall being a nice touch. They really tie the room together.

5. An Innocent Man (1983)

MORE BLACK AND WHITE.

I’ve been listening to Billy Joel since before I was born (shoutout to my mama), and I have never noticed how many of his album covers are in black and white. One third of his albums are in black and white, as are his Greatest Hits, Volumes I and II. The reasons An Innocent Man’s cover ranks higher than the other B&W albums are that there are a grand total of ZERO creepy faces in this picture, and that there is a little bit of cover with the artist’s name and the album’s title printed in a nice mustard yellow. Also, Joel’s outfit (leather jacket, striped t-shirt, rolled-up jeans cuffs) is representative of the retro style of the music on this album, which is an homage to the pop music of the ’50s and ’60s that he grew up with.

4. Turnstiles (1976)

At first glance, this album cover might not seem like much; it’s just Joel and some models standing in a subway terminal.

You thought.

But it’s what this image represents that makes it such a good cover.

For starters, the name Turnstiles, written in subway tiles, and the image being set in a subway terminal are both representative of Billy Joel’s move back to his homeland of New York after a stint in Los Angeles. Also, each “character” in the picture is representative of a song on the album. The girl listening to her headphones is “All You Wanna Do Is Dance”, the young, ritzy couple is “I’ve Loved These Days”, the man holding books is “James”, so on and so forth.

3. 52nd Street (1978)

This cover is possibly the most representative of the music on the album in Joel’s entire collection. 52nd Street is chock full of jazz influence, with songs such as “Stiletto”, “52nd Street”, “Half a Mile Away” having definitive jazzy vibes, while “Zanzibar” and its trumpet solos could pass as a Jazz standard. Just in case you didn’t get the jazz message from the music itself, Joel holds a trumpet in this album cover for extra measure.

2. Glass Houses (1980)

This album is so aesthetically appealing to me. The stark contrast of a dark black leather jacket with light blue jeans. The reflection of bare trees in the glass house. The red letters. The rock. They all come together to make the perfect cover for what many describe as Joel’s first attempt at a true rock album. Also, the house in this picture was Billy Joel’s own house, and it always makes me wonder why anyone would buy a glass house. I get the appeal of having an abundance of natural lighting, but there’s also an abundance of potential privacy invasion, and it must be a pain and/or cost a fortune to have all of those windows cleaned.

1. River of Dreams (1993)

Billy Joel’s still-hot then-wife Christie Brinkley painted this album cover, which Rolling Stone awarded the Album Cover of the Year in 1993, and for good reason.

(Also, speaking of Christie Brinkley, I’d like to point out that she played Gale Gergich, wife of Jerry/Garry/Larry/Terry/Barry Gergich/Gengurch, on Parks and Recreation. In the Season 7 episode titled “Leslie and Ron”, Leslie sings her own version of “We Didn’t Start the Fire” to get Ron to break his silence. “We Didn’t Start the Fire” was Jerry’s pick for an office mixtape. Jerry is married to Christie Brinkley who was married to Billy Joel. Jerry = Billy Joel? You decide.)

Of the three Joel album covers that were paintings, this one certainly takes the cake. Not only is there an abundance of color, but the images in the painting are representative of the songs on the album, much like the Turnstiles characters were representative of songs. River of Dreams was Joel’s last album of pop music, and it’s also arguably his most emotional one. This album cover is as beautiful as the songs are emotional.