On Kwanzaa and other Complicated Holidays
I’ve always been ambivalent about holidays.
I appreciated the days off from work, the opportunity to gorge on carbs and mulled wine and the chance to make merry with family and friends. I also appreciated the general spirit of the holidays, or what my sister would call, the “warm and cozy” feeling of it. But as a political and social justice minded person, I’ve never felt completely comfortable celebrating them.
Thanksgiving is a holiday based on a false mythology. I was always the one making everyone at the dinner table slightly uncomfortable by reminding everyone what the holiday was really about, they expected it from me and it became part of our holiday tapestry, a joke really. Here goes Marly, getting on her political high horse. As far as Christmas goes, I’m not religious, I never believed in Santa Claus, and I’ve always loathed the highly consumeristic and wasteful nature of the whole thing. As I got older, I resented this idea that a fat white man should take credit for the sacrifices that my hardworking single mom made each year to put gifts under the tree. When my son was born my partner and I were excited for the opportunity to be more intentional with the way we celebrated holidays.
Six months ago we emigrated to the Netherlands where they celebrate Sinterklaas from November 16th until December 5th. Sinterklaas, one of the sources of the American Santa Claus, arrives via steamboat from his home in Spain, accompanied by hundreds of Zwarte Pieten — white men and women with their faces painted black, red lipstick, gold earrings and black curly wigs. Zwarte Piet window installations can be found throughout the city and stores are filled with all things Piet from chocolate bars to wrapping paper. Schools throughout the Netherlands welcome Sinterklaas and Zwarte Piet’s into their classrooms on December 5th. The racist nature of this character has been covered extensively this year thanks to the work of Quinsy Gario and other activists in the Netherlands so I won’t dig into it here.
Talk about complicated holidays.
We love our new city, however this holiday and our discomfort with American holidays has really pushed us to start thinking seriously about creating new traditions for our kid. Considering there’s no way in hell we’ll allow him to participate in this racist Dutch tradition, we are being challenged to come up with alternatives that will give my son something to celebrate so that he doesn’t feel like he’s a member of the “we don’t do holidays” household.
My partner grew up celebrating Kwanzaa. I didn’t even know what Kwanzaa was until college where I celebrated it with gusto surrounded by my other budding black radicals of course.
When I started googling to figure out what celebrating it at home would involve, I discovered that Kwanzaa has been under attack by conservatives from Anne Coultier to Senator Glenn Grothman. Kwanzaa has been called a “fake holiday”, a “racist holiday”, a leftist plot to destroy America, a holiday only celebrated by approval seeking white leftists, etc.
Reading all this had me feeling a type of way. Black folks are expected to happily embrace and celebrate all American traditions, traditions whose very existence and modes of celebration deserve a side eye at best and are sometimes highly offensive. These holidays are made “American” simply because white people say so.
All those with something to say against Kwanzaa, can we take a moment to reflect? So we’ve talked about Thanksgiving and Christmas, oh, Black Friday anyone? A “tradition” all about trampling our fellow Americans in the name of consumerism. And now that we don’t have to travel to the Netherlands to see white people in Black face, Halloween is ruined for us. And Presidents Day? Really? How many presidents were slave holders again? Independence Day? Ummm, how many Black people were independent on the 4th of July 1776? And are we really still celebrating Columbus Day?
If corporate American can’t make money off of it, if white people don’t approve of it, if Black people and Black culture are made central by it — it’s wrong and has no value. Listen people, the fact that Kwanzaa is an “invented” holiday, does not make it a “fake” holiday. Kwanzaa matters whether 1-2 million people (current estimate) celebrate it or if 1-2 hundred people celebrate it. It matters because the people who celebrate it believe it does. It matters because it’s a holiday created for us, by us, and in our reflection. It matters because the group that celebrates it the most is people between the ages of 26 and 34, child bearing people, like me and my partner who want to bring up their kids with principles such as self determination, unity, and purpose. It matters because everything is about ya’ll, and this, this is about us.
The holiday season is the hardest time to be away from family, not to mention being in a new city, with a new language, and a racist tradition to navigate. So for us, this year, Kwanzaa is a must. And although I’m willing to wager it won’t be easy to find a kinara and red, black, and green candles in the Netherlands, the fact that this holiday exists, a holiday not about over consumption but about collective responsibility, faith and creativity, means everything.
