Faking The Dream
They say entrepreneurs should “fake it, until we make it”. I’m still faking though.
Every morning I wake up, I go to work and I tell the world that I’m an entrepreneur. Most of the time when doing that, I’m positive and oozing of ambition, so you’ll probably hear me say that everything is going really well: I’m happy and my business is growing.
You might look at that and think that I’ve got it all figured it out:
- I founded a multimillion-dollar, global company, where I was CEO, before I stepped away.
- Now I’m privileged enough to work on a new startup,where passion (and not money) is my primary pursuit.
- I write often, have a good audience on my blog and there’s 16 000+ people following me on Twitter.
- I wrote a book about (personal) branding, which is surely selling really well. As if I need the money.
- I get invited to speak at conferences often and sometimes that even means being flown to far-away countries on all-expenses-paid trips.
And so that list goes on…
To the outside world, I’m convinced that this paints a picture of someone’s life, where they have everything figured out and have everything going for them. This is the life of someone that has his ducks in a row and has been so successful.
The reality is however a stark contrast to this picture.
“I know that many of you are scared (to do something / build a business) and you feel like an amateur. The reality is that I feel like a fucking amateur all the time.”
That sums up my life perfectly and I feel like this even more since I stepped away from WooThemes to work on a new startup.
See the thing is that many of your perceptions of me (and other entrepreneurs) are based on a facade of sorts. Whilst I wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m pretty transparent about what’s going on in my head (when I write), there is still a bravado that I maintain as part of this public image.
I keep up that facade or bravado, not because I want to deceive; but because I need to be strong and confident. Or at the very least, appear to be so for my friends, my team and my customers. My stress (and irrational fears / concerns) should not be their worry; for them, everything should be business as usual.
But meanwhile, I’m on this eternal rollercoaster ride, where my emotions switch between opposite poles often. I’m exhausted trying to mitigate these emotions to the extent that they don’t influence the decisions I make or at least, don’t influence the decisions my team has to make.
I don’t have all of my ducks in a row. I don’t have it all figured out. Most of the time, I’m absolutely scared shitless about this journey I started with PublicBeta and I’m really stressed about making a mess of this.
Even after going the extra mile to validate the idea, I’m concerned about building the wrong thing. I’m worried about the money running out before we build enough of a product and exposed it to enough people (to be cash-flow positive).
On top of that, I’m scared about what people will think if I do make a mess of this. Would they too think that I’m only a one hit wonder?
But done is better than perfect and that is why I’m living the dream. My dream.
And I wouldn’t exchange that dream for anything in the world.