So, About Bathrooms (And many other hot button topics)
You can’t go anywhere right now without seeing arguments on both sides about who should go in which bathroom. Let’s think ahead a few months or years down the road. In playing the story out, we can better engage today.
What happens if, as a church, we continue down the road we are on right now? What happens if we dig in hoping that outrage and volume will show the world that we are right? Just ask the divorcees of the 80’s and 90’s or homosexuals from, well, ever. We’ve seen this story play out. In fact, we’ve seen this story play out too many times.
We have a choice to make. Will we engage with compassion and grace or will we storm ahead trying to prove a point that entirely misses the point?
Sometimes, in our “righteous anger”, we can lose sight of the larger goal, showing people a new life in Christ. If that happens, our desire to be acknowledged as correct can begin to confirm the biases that people who have no relationship with Christ have about Christians — that we are at least, mean and at worst that we are hypocrites that look nothing like Jesus. We look less like Jesus flipping the tables to make a point and more like the Pharisees who hoped their comfortable world wouldn’t change.
We could have just stopped after “we look less like Jesus”.
What are we saying on Facebook? How are we talking to our co-workers? Is it with empathy and a goal of understanding? Are we sharing articles with tones that are helpful and gracious or demanding, condescending and insulting? Are we helpful and full of grace or are we letting fear and anger bring out the worst in us?
When you feel right, it’s hard not to want to align people with the “right” perspective. The problem is, we don’t see Jesus do that. In his very famous encounter with the woman caught in adultery, we see Jesus refuse to get dragged into an argument that is off message. Instead, he uses his non-response to show unbelievable compassion. His silence in a moment propelled a movement of grace. Then, only after He led with grace, did He tell her to change her life. Grace and truth, in equal measure, bring people to a new life in Christ. Let’s not trip over truth before we’ve built a path of grace.
After we come to know Christ, we are absolutely supposed to learn how to live with a Christ-centered, Biblical worldview and morality. A worldview that holds a standard where men marry women and gender is not confused. A morality that tells us not to lie or gossip. A morality that tells us not to compare ourselves with others or covet wealth. And, thankfully, a worldview that has enough grace to let in all who fall short of perfection. Which, in case you’re wondering is, in fact, all of us. We are also supposed to invite people into that life and hold our brothers and sisters in Christ accountable to that life.
At the same time, we are absolutely not called to expect a morality based on a life-changing moment with Jesus before that life-changing momenthappens to someone.
We are told to love God, love people, and make disciples. I don’t know where we — myself included — began to think that we were also supposed to win arguments. There is a place for healthy debate, but it is not at a distance and not from behind a keyboard in a comments section. Let’s engage those we love with the issues we care about in the context of a relationship.
The suggestion here is not to lay down and accept what’s happening. It’s okay to disagree. It’s okay to want change. Instead, I’m asking the question; what if this time we engaged differently?
What if we, the church, led with compassion and grace as we talked about these issues? What if we learn the stories of people who the bathroom issue, or any issue, effects and develop our opinions out of that understanding, instead of political rhetoric or cheap oversimplified arguments? What if we look people in the face and say, “who is here to condemn you?” Please, let’s be the people asking others to drop the stones, instead of the ones ready to hurl them.
What would happen if we cared more about making disciples of Jesus than winning an argument?
