How Addiction Leaves Us Vulnerable
It’s not just who we hurt, but also who hurt us.
This essay originally appeared in the Exploring Sobriety newsletter.
I hate how I used to treat other people when I was drunk.
I was an angry alcoholic. The type of guy who would blow up over everything and nothing. The kind of person who made others anxious — as if they were walking on eggshells.
Since getting sober, I’ve spent a lot of time working on these anger issues. I’ve reflected on how I’ve treated others, done my best to make amends, seen a therapist, and developed anger-coping mechanisms so that I don’t keep acting so awfully for the rest of my life. [I’ve previously written about this in more detail: Alcoholism and Rage.]
After getting sober, it’s important to put in this work — to think about how our alcoholism hurt others and to improve our behavior moving forward. I’m proud that I’ve taken responsibility for how I treat others.
However, lately, I’ve realized that this is just half the story. I’ve poured a lot of energy into understanding how my addiction hurt others but this focus caused me to miss the fact that the harm often went both ways.
As an active alcoholic, I was a deeply vulnerable person. At the same time that I was mistreating…
