Way back in the halcyon days of the Obama administration, I downloaded the Couch to 5K app. The conceit is pretty simple: over eight weeks, the app will poke and prod couch potatoes into an upright position, demand they lace up a pair of sneakers, and guide them, a few feet at a time, towards their first 5K.
It’s really a great app for anyone (like me) who is ill-equipped to properly train themselves over a relatively short period of time. The first few days of the program start slow—60 seconds of jogging, followed by 90 seconds of walking, on and off for 30 minutes—building to longer and longer stretches of running at a time. But what I really needed last summer was a prologue app—let’s call it TU2C25K (Totally Useless to C25K)—that guides you not to the finish line, but to the starting line.
The thing about running is that, unlike other cardio such as an elliptical or a stationary bike, it can be taxing on your joints. And if you’re overweight—hi, hello—all the more so.
And so, after a few false starts last year, I abandoned running in favor of the stationary bikes at Planet Fitness. But after several months, I figured I had lost enough weight to give running another shot and, well, here we are.
I signed up for a March 5 St. Patrick’s Day 5K, giving me a date from which to work backwards and figure out how far along the c25K program I had to be in order to finish on time. Thanks to unseasonably warm February weather, there were ample opportunities to sneak 30 minutes of running in before bed (sometimes at ungodly hours. See photo.).
By the time race day arrived, I had already logged multiple runs of at least 3 miles. My anxiety had less to do with my ability to finish and more to do with running alongside hundreds—in this case, thousands—of people who run for fun. People who say things like “negative splits,” and “I’ve done this 5K the last three years!, and “I had an off day, so I only ran at a 6:15 pace.” These are not my people.
Also not helping: after a February that felt more like April, March 5 felt more like January 5. It was a crisp 26º by the time we gathered at the starting line.
Here’s what I learned in the 29 minutes and 39 seconds it took to finish.
- Running while cold is a mixed bag. On the one hand, it keeps you from getting too hot and gross. On the other, breathing in below-freezing air suuuuucks. Mid thirties? Fine. Mid twenties? Don’t recommend.
- Do not underestimate hills. To my great detriment, I only started factoring in changes in elevation in my later practice runs. This particular 5K was mercifully flat save for the last few tenths of a mile, which involved scaling a hill that may as well have been Everest. Hills, bad.
- Pacing is key. On this point, I give myself a pat on the back. Somehow, without really trying, I’ve managed to be very good about pacing myself. It shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that later miles tend to be slower miles as your legs tire, etc. But I did pretty good of maintaining a consistent pace the whole way through. Yay me.
- Find a race buddy. I don’t mean a friend to run alongside—I’ll never understand people who are able to carry out a conversation as they run, as if they’re sipping lattes in the park—but rather, find someone who is at roughly the same pace as you and keep your eyes on them. This is tricky though, you don’t want to pick someone right away only to watch as they speed up and you hopelessly try to keep up (see: #3). About halfway through my 5K, I noticed that I had been drifting behind the same one or two people for several minutes, and for the remainder of the run I would check myself by seeing where those people were. IMPORTANT CAVEAT: If they turn out to be better closers than you and pull away late, ABORT. Maintaining your own game plan is of utmost importance.
A 5K is the smallest of all possible potatoes, but weight loss is a marathon whose finish line can seem impossibly far away even after working towards it for months. Setting up smaller goals along the way, each with their own finish line—literal ones, in this case—is a good way of reminding yourself that you are making real progress.
