I’m Going To Pinterest DIY My Way To A Better Life
Ellie Guzman
1653

I Fucking Love Pinterest

Look what I made:

Have you seen my pussy panties?

Check out my sewyourownknickers Instagram profile:

I made a dress and a top with this fabric too. I haven’t worn the dress in public yet; the collar is too loose and I’m gonna have to cut it off and sew a new collar.

When I sew nothing else matters.


I had to return my sewing machine last week but I got three types of glue and I am raring to go. I even HAND-SEWED a tee-towel yesterday.

I think I’ll wish for a glue gun for my birthday.


What’s Pinterest?

It’s when your wife scrolls on her cellphone for 8 hours then serves you salad in a Mason jar.


My favourites are the upcycle-with-frills stuff.

Convert a boring office blazer into a frothing concoction of frills and lace.

Pinterest makes my head boil over with excitement from its boundless beauty made from trash and household stuff.

I want to make some pallet sofa furniture.

I sewed this (as yet unfinished) quilt out of fabric scraps:

Note the T-square on the window sill. I glued that purple tassel to the lampshade in the corner.

Three years ago I couldn’t thread a needle.

Sewing machines were mysterious mechanical wonders that were menacing reminders of childhood traumas that involved a grubby piece of sweaty hand-sewn cotton and a hysterical teacher screaming:

“That’s not a needle; it’s a crowbar”

I have rarely abused alcohol in my life: I drank to kill the pain and I think you should too. But first let me tell you this:

When I pull my chair up to the sewing machine, when I lightly check the threading of the needle with my fingers and make sure I have the right-colour thread…when I do these things:

All of the Pain Slips Quietly Away…