Life Lesson
7 Mistakes I Regret in Life: A Must Read if You’re in Your 20’s
Avoid the mistakes that have a major impact on the trajectory of your life
I’m 29, so this is the right time to reflect and share this.
We all make mistakes, and there’s nothing wrong with them. It helps shape our thoughts, perspectives, experiences, and personalities.
But certain mistakes have a major impact on the trajectory of your life.
I want to share this to help others in their twenties learn from my experience and take charge of their lives. That’s a critical age where we shape major parts of our lives.
Mistake #1: Not setting goals in life and drifting aimlessly.
It’s the sweetest time to have fun, make friends, and enjoy that sense of freedom.
But, it’s also the most convenient time to become lost, confused, and misguided.
I got into the engineering college and thought, Now that life is set, I’ve done what I had to. But little did I know that it was the beginning of something important.
I didn’t put any extra effort into sitting down and understanding what I wanted to do.
I was drifting aimlessly in whatever direction situations pulled me.
Always find time to sit alone for a few minutes each day. Think and question your actions. Analyse if they fit the goal.
If not, then make the necessary changes to align it.
When you’re not reflecting on your own actions and goals, it’s easy to become lost.
Mistake #2: Not thinking for oneself and being influenced by others opinions.
Others influenced 80% of my decisions.
Sounds funny, right? But I wasn’t aware, sadly.
It’s like giving control of your decisions to someone else. It can be your friends, family, relatives, peers, or even social media.
Influence is in every aspect of life and impacts you, with or without awareness.
Only if you see many things in your life that you never wanted or needed, their unconscious influence made you pursue them.
Did you ever feel like you were doing something you didn’t want to do?
It can be a degree or a job.
If yes, then it’s a sign you’re doing it out of influence. People’s opinions aren’t always wrong, but it’s not necessary that it works for you. What suits one may not suit another.
Ask yourself when you make important decisions. “Do I really want to do this, or am I doing this because someone said so?
Listen to everyone, but think for yourself and act accordingly.
Mistake #3: Numbing my pain by being drunk and high.
This truth might hurt you.
If you frequently consume alcohol and smoke marijuana, you’re weak.
I had my first drink in college on my 20th birthday. I could never get rid of that feeling, and I wanted more of it.
That dopamine rush soon became a craving.
I partied hard every night, knocking back drinks and lighting up, thinking it was the ultimate high.
It doesn’t take much time for the best times to turn into dark ones when you get into this habit.
I resorted to drinking and smoking to avoid those low phases. An escape from reality.
But till when can you run away?
You have to come back and phase it anyway. It’s easier to make yourself numb to your pains than to confront them.
Mistake #4: Caring about what others think of me.
You waste a lot of your life caring about what others think of you.
Everything said or done to me triggered my emotions.
Why?
I wanted everyone to like me. I felt less worthy of myself when someone didn’t.
I was carrying my happiness in public and waiting for someone to take care of it.
If you give importance to what others think of you, then you lack security and confidence in yourself as you have made it dependent on others.
You start craving approval and validation from everyone around you. It makes you hollow; deep inside, you don’t know yourself; hence, your existence is dependent on other's views of you.
Shift your happiness inward by knowing yourself and seeking wisdom, which blooms your soul.
Mistake #5: Not forgiving and holding onto resentment.
Why do you have to carry the weight of holding onto resentment?
It’s the burden you put on yourself for no reason.
When someone hurt me, I wanted to take revenge and treat them the same way, or sometimes, even worse, I would get upset and do nothing.
Why is this worse? Because you keep burning inside without ever letting it out, and if you let it out, then it’s in the form of anger, fights, or arguments.
Often, what fuels resentment is your inability or unwillingness to confront the people you respect.
Confront, forgive, and let go.
Your peace of mind is more important than your need to be proven right.
Mistake #6: Not building any skills while in college.
Just because you have a degree doesn’t mean you should sit around expecting it to solve all your problems.
This is the biggest career mistake I made. I thought that attending lectures and getting good grades were sufficient for me to succeed in life
When I was studying computer science engineering, students who were learning a coding language outside of class could do paid freelance work. Some even landed the top jobs.
I did not start learning any skills during my studies, and that’s a big mistake I made.
Your degree alone cannot define your growth in life. It’s your skills that differentiate you from others in the market.
Pick a skill you like. Each day, put 60 minutes into sharpening it a lot. You will thank yourself later for having done that.
Mistake #7: Taking everything on ego.
At this age, our blood is boiling, our energy is through the roof, and our excitement is at a peak.
I fought and argued, most in college, which is a mistake.
You think fighting is right when someone does wrong to you.
But what are you fighting to protect?
You fight to protect your image, identity, and respect, but instead, it’s your ego that is screaming to be considered superior to others.
Your ego desires to prove that you are right and superior.
You only look like a fool by trying to prove yourself: “Look, I am beautiful, I am intelligent, I am rich, I am this and that.”.
The wise and intelligent are individuals who have the patience and the insight to recognise and learn to avoid unnecessary drama in their lives.
You don’t have to take everything personally; developing a thick skin is an asset.
Think of it as a test of your patience and emotional resilience. The more better you get at it, the more peace and calm you attain in life ahead.
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