10 Things Most Americans Don’t Know About Great Britain
Americans believe a lot of myths about the UK (our revolution was a war against Parliament, not the king, for example) but this should help clear up some of those.
“Two nations divided by a common language.” That’s how we tend to think of the United States and United Kingdom. That’s not far off. Britain is very different from the US, but many of those differences are a mystery to Americans. Some Americans idealize the UK, saying “The U.K.” like it’s a special shorthand for cool people, spelling color with “ou”, and putting “e”s in the wrong place. Others deride it as some sort of crumbling-imperial-has-been-socialist-Hell two inches from self destruction.
Fords Are Tiny Cars
In the States, we’re used to the Ford F-150, F-250, Mustangs, etc. In Britain, there were no Mustangs until the latest generation, and F-150s are way too big to fit down most rural roads. Much more common are the Fiesta, Focus, and their variants. The Ford Focus RS may be new to us, but it has been around in Europe since 2002. More common there are the Ford Mondeo, which is the car rebadged in the US as the Fusion, and the Ford Ka, the most un-Ford Ford that ever Forded. The Ka (which also comes as a two seat convertible) is a pathetic hatchback with nearly no storage, and nothing exciting except the “Oh! Isn’t that cute!” reactions Americans have when they see the Ford badge on such a notoriously useless econobox.
The NHS Isn’t Perfect, But The US Lags Far Behind It, and Conservatives In The UK Are Proud Of It
When the Brexit campaign got into full swing, crazy right wingers and prominent Tory leaders said that instead of sending dues to the EU, they should be spent on the National Health Service (NHS). The NHS has been around for decades, and while if you break a hip in February you may have to wait a few weeks for a replacement (which you may have to do in the States with insurance anyway), you will not be in debt for the rest of your life or rendered uninsurable because of it. That’s because the NHS is free at the point of need, and gets bargains by buying prescriptions and things like hip replacements in bulk.
By buying in bulk, the NHS has a certain number of items per month (lots of old people break their hips in February, so it’s harder to get one then) so with the buying power of a nation, the price of drugs etc. is very cheap. With a massive network of hospitals, the NHS can see most patients quickly, and with almost no paperwork (“What’s your ID number? Go ahead. We’re done.”). Sounds like a communist conspiracy? Well, they have better health outcomes than the US. If you really don’t want to go to an NHS doctor you can spring for the most expensive gold plated insurance for $500… a year.
London Isn’t The Whole Country
To Americans, a place is often a thing you “do”. We “did” Cancun. We “did” Paris. Reducing a place in this way reduces the place to a checklist. Went to Las Vegas? Did you “do” the strip? Did you “do” the Bunny Ranch? Did you “do” Penn & Teller? Most Americans who visit Britain go to London, then use Heathrow as a jumping off point for Paris, Berlin, etc. Like most places we visit, London has a checklist. Did you do the British Museum? Did you do The London Dungeon? Did you do the pubs?
London is not anything like most of the country. London is lovely, with its history, museums, architecture, and theater, but it doesn’t have all the cool stuff in the country, and it is also much, much more expensive than every place else.
Outside London are not only huge stretches of gorgeous countryside where you drive on the wrong side of the road, but also places other than London that are totally worth a visit. Beaulieu is a stately home where there is an amazing car museum; Longleat is a huge estate where a polygamous Marquis (pronounced MAR-kwiss) runs a safari park, garden, museum, and crazy psychedelic apartments he decorated while on LSD, all of which you can tour.
In the west you’ll find Wales, where the countryside is gorgeous and there is the capital city of Cardiff, where the BBC shoots shows like Doctor Who. In the north is former gritty industrial city Liverpool (where the Beatles are from) which has been turned into a super modern aspirational business center.
Further north is Scotland where there is The Edinburgh Festival Fringe, the biggest theater festival in the world, running a month, with thousands of cheap shows, some of which will move on to London’s West End and Broadway, where tickets will be 5000% more expensive.
In the Irish Sea there’s the Isle of Man, an ancient island and tax haven which hosts the world’s most suicidally insane motorcycle race, the Isle of Man TT, and has no speed limits. I can’t even get out the full list of things outside of London because, well, it’s not a damn list. Just go and find some stuff you’ll like, as though you’re an adult. Get outta town.
People Pay Fewer Taxes Relative To Their Benefits
Yep. Big myth. In Britain, people think the government should actually work. As a result, the big scandals aren’t billions going to KBR, as they were under Bush, but rather a few grand building a duck house in the garden of a Member of Parliament. The systems run pretty well (although complaining about them is the national sport) and while people pay slightly more in taxes, the benefits they get from that are much higher (eg not having to buy any health insurance, but still getting healthcare free at the point of need).
There’s the high VAT, meaning taxes on goods, but unless you’re super rich, all other taxes are lower, and since you’re not paying anything at all for healthcare, you have more to spend on other things. On balance, people pay less in taxes relative to the benefits to society the government provides, including healthcare outcomes where the UK ranks way ahead of the US. The civil service is a respected institution, and new ideas on how government can improve (including Brexit) tend not to be rejected out of hand unless they involve gutting the civil service.
Britain Gets That Class Exists
In the US, we pride ourselves on the belief that we do not have a class system. Boy, is that ridiculous. While we do not have titles (except for Esquire, thanks lawyers) we have a class system, but in Britain they acknowledge it. While it’s a mixed bag, it does some important things ours doesn’t do: it separates class from race, and it acknowledges the advantages of class.
In the US, there is nearly always an assumption by racists (and people who don’t realize they are a bit racist) that black=lower class. Having class as separate from race helps ameliorate this problem. This isn’t to say Britain doesn’t have racism, and that class doesn’t create some barriers, but rather that their culture at least sees and registers these things, whereas America blithely whistles past the graveyard, equating class with race, while still having class barriers and racial barriers.
In the US, a lot of people who are born on second and somehow make it to third think they hit a triple. Acknowledging that not all personal progress is earned keeps people there from thinking people like Donald Trump are somehow geniuses.
Also, Britain has things like life peerages, which can be awarded to people for exceptional achievements (Alan Sugar, host of The Apprentice in the UK, is now Lord Sugar) and knighthoods for outstanding service to the nation (all those actors you’ve heard of who were knighted). These things keep people invested in the system, and reward hard work with social capitol. We have nothing like this, except perhaps for the Presidential Medal of Freedom, which is hardly ever awarded and most people probably don’t even know what it is.
Gentlemen’s Clubs Aren’t Strip Joints
Whites, Soho House, The Rag. These are real gentlemen’s clubs. These private clubs are where usually well heeled members meet to socialize, often organized by profession. This is networking from the age of Queen Victoria in the age of Facebook.
These are clubs where members play cards (The Portland) or share magic tricks (The Magic Circle) or network with fellow show business folks (The Ivy) and new connections are made. Nothing beats face to face connections, and these clubs do it better than anyone.
While these clubs are private, you never know when a member might invite you for drinks and you get a peek inside. If you get such an invitation, go. It’s worth it. Of course, some of these clubs are still men only, which is bullshit.
London Has Amazing Jazz Clubs
The 100 Club and Jazz Cafe are, if you’re a jazz aficionado, wonderful places to spend the evening. New York has The Jazz Standard and The Blue Note, but each has become something of a tourist trap. Jazz in London may sound incongruous but actually it’s a wonderful departure when you’ve spent all day looking at classical European art in museums.
Downton Abbey Isn’t A Real Place, But It’s Not Far Off
Most of the great stately homes tourists can visit are owned by something called The National Trust, an institution that oversees sites Upton. These houses are wonderful places that, mostly in the 1950s when taxes were pretty harsh if you were super rich, were donated to The National Trust. These houses have gardens and very often, huge tracts of land with other attractions. The Trust doesn’t run every house though.
Many stately homes like the ones mentioned above, are still lived in by the descendants of the families that have lived in them for centuries, even the ones that offer tours. You might even run into the residents during one of these tours. These houses aren’t charities like the Trust, but businesses; commercially run shoots where shotgun and bird enthusiasts can shoot birds with shotguns; office buildings in old barns; stables where locals who ride can leave their horses; sites of concerts and festivals; even internet companies who warehouse their goods in old out buildings.
Lord Grantham may have been a terrible businessman, but The 8th Earl Carnarvon got paid to let Downton Abbey shoot in his home, Highclere Castle, which you can visit.
Britain Has More Convertibles Per Capita Than Any Other Country In The World
It’s true. Nobody knows why.
The Queen Knows More Secrets Than Anyone In Government
As the head of state, Queen Elizabeth II has been getting regular intelligence briefings since the 1950s. As a result, when she meets a world leader, any world leader, she knows more about the secret history of the world than they do, period.
US Presidents get daily intelligence briefings for the better part of eight years if they are lucky. If a President does a term or two on the intelligence committee as a senator or works for the CIA before running for office, they’ll have maybe twenty years of top secret briefings, but nothing like the top level briefings given to heads of state. “Her Maj” has had them read to her every day for more than sixty years. She is likely the best repository of Cold War intelligence in the world.
And if you doubt for one second that she can remember everything, consider this: Don’t ask me how I know this, but once she was interrupted at a private dinner by a phone call from the staff at Windsor Castle. A light had gone out and she is the only person who knows where all the fuse boxes in the castle (and indeed all her homes) are located. The only person.
