“A Nightmare on Elm Street”
A movie review by President Donald J. Trump
It’s Oscar season again, which means two things: the Liberal Elite pick their favorite movies, and my sons can legally start shooting people named Oscar. In honor of the movie industry that has given me not anything like what I deserve, here’s my review of a film many have called a major Hollywood movie, A Nightmare on Elm Street.
A Nightmare on Elm Street calls itself a horror movie, but I wasn’t scared by it at all. Some have said it’s very frightening, especially for an ’80s movie, but I didn’t hide behind the couch once, believe me.
The movie is about Omelette-Face Freddy Krueger, a guy who wears ugly clothing and a stupid glove because his tiny hands are so not scary that they wouldn’t frighten a mouse. Like a dog.
Not-Scary-At-All Freddy Krueger can’t even kill people in real life without going into their dreams. He’d never be able to kill me because I don’t sleep. Especially after seeing this movie. Not because of this movie though. Because I’m superhuman.
