After Trump Calls Brzezinski “Dumb As A Rock,” Rocks Plan March On Washington

“If the president wants a wall, he better wise up!” say rocks, bricks, and boulders in coordinated effort to stonewall White House

Members of the United Federation of Building Blocks gathered for an emergency meeting in Fairfax, VA.

Bricks, boulders, foundation stones, and other basic building materials were outraged on Saturday after President Donald Trump continued his Twitter feud with “Morning Joe” co-host Mika Brzezinski by calling her, “dumb as a rock.”

Frank Obeleski, President of the United Federation of Building Blocks, shown here speaking from his offices in Virginia.

“The president is doing himself no favors by insulting members of our union with slurs like that,” said Frank Obeleski, President of the UFBB (United Federation of Building Blocks). “We let it go when he called Megyn Kelly ‘stupid as a cobblestone,’ a few years back, and we looked the other way when he attacked Rosie O’Donnell for being, ‘ugly as a slab of granite.’ But our members have had enough. No more pushing basic building materials around anymore!”

UFBB union members voted unanimously, with hands raised, to march on Washington.

Mr. Obeleski said the UFBB, as well as members of related unions, like the BPC (Brotherhood of Poured Concrete) and the IPSU (International Paving Stone Union), would join forces to march on the White House on Saturday, August 5th to bring their grievances directly to the president.

“We’ll have 40 or 50,000 tons of basic building materials blocking the streets of Washington,” said Mr. Obeleski. “He won’t be able to work around us when we stonewall him and his agenda with the force of a quarry’s worth of solid stone.”

Mr. Obeleski sentiments were echoed with similar comments from the leaders of other construction material unions.

“If the president wants his Mexican wall, he’s doing himself no favors by slandering rocks, stones, and other foundation materials,” said Carl Headstone, President of the IGSF.

“If Mr. Trump keeps up these slanderous tweets, he can forget about his Mexican wall,” said Carl Headstone, President of the IGSF (International Granite Slab Federation). “He will not get any cooperation from members of the IGSF, and he’ll be stuck building his wall with plywood and cardboard. I suggest he keep his hardhat handy and watch his step.”

Mr. Headstone added that Mr. Trump and the basic building material unions once had a good relationship that has soured in recent years.

“Since he became president, he seems more willing to attack those who supported him during his years building a fortune in construction,” said Mr. Headstone, adjusting some lichen stuck to his south face. “I have a cousin who forms the cornerstone at a Trump tower in NYC who says the man was very decent back then. Now the president seems willing to throw any decent, hardworking rock under the sledge hammer. It’s just not right.”

Asked to comment about the protest action by the major building materials unions, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said, “The president did not intend to knock rocks with his recent comments, and he meant no affront. I would like to remind members of the UFBB, BPG, and IPSU that for many years Mr. Trump has been called a ‘boulder brain’ and considers it a huge compliment. He loves all the basic building materials.”

In a related story, members of the International Stonemasons Guild are considering joining the action in Washington in August.

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