Truth In Satire

As Death Arrives For Donald Trump, President Tries To Bribe Him With Candy

Mr. Trump assumed that Grim Reaper’s visit was a Halloween prank, until the Dark Angel took hold of his arm

“Come this way,” Death told Donald Trump on Wednesday at the White House. (Credit: thehill.com)

Halloween brought good news to Americans this year — Donald Trump’s time on earth is up.

As the president was hosting a Halloween party at the White House on Wednesday morning, the Grim Reaper made his entrance, coming for the most detested man on the planet on a day when the doors to Hell are wide open (which is propitious because the president is a very fat man).

The president thought he could bribe the Dark Angel with candy but it didn’t work. (Credit: wtop.com)

At first, Mr. Trump tried to buy off the Dark Angel with candy that he was carrying in an orange basket. But the Joyless Grave Maker had no interest in sweets and wasn’t having any of it.

Assuming the portly president would be difficult to budge, Death brought a black-clad, invisible Wraith along to assist. (Credit: www.japantimes.co.jp)

As Mr. Trump summoned Secret Service agents to seize the Angel of Death and escort him off the White House grounds, the Cheerless One, who cannot be restrained or shackled, took the president by the arm — always a terrible sign for the living.

Standing nearby was Melania Trump who smiled and cheered as her husband was being escorted away, apparently pleased that Death was going to end her interminable misery. The first lady pleaded with Hades’ Messenger to curse The Donald with eternal damnation.

If Death is successful in keeping Mr. Trump and his dark agenda confined to Hellfire for all eternity, millions of Americans are calling for Halloween to be designated a national holiday in the future.

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Thanks to all the many readers, fans, followers, and even my frenemies, for reading and commenting on my posts throughout the year as I continue my commitment to post every day, 7-days-a-week until the Orange Accident is out of our hair.

I read every comment. And I try to answer as many as possible.

Thank you.

–AI