Casual Sexism is No Joke
Now, look, I got a chuckle out of the ole sammich joke same as anyone…
I’ll still occasionally crack a smile. But this attitude is indicative of the kind of conditioning we’ve all just kind of become accustomed to. The problem is not necessarily the intent of the humor to play on outdated stereotypes; it’s the conditioning that automatically makes a social justice warrior of any woman who takes the least little offense to the promotion of such a stereotype. That there is even a derogatory label designed to immediately discredit even those with a valid claim is a problem.
And I get why that title exists. Let’s break that down, the need for such a term as “SJW”.
Certainly there are those who have made it their mission to be as much on the offensive as they are offended. Further proof we need to meet more in the middle, to pick our battles, in order to be taken seriously. It’s too easy to be dismissed on these claims alone because people keep nitpicking every tiny little thing that could potentially be offensive to anyone.
Look, I’m going to speak harshly here and say that life is not laid out for the sensitive. People get abused, see horrible things, are violated, and the world does not tailor itself to keep one from confronting such hostilities. Be thankful, if you share a first world country like mine, that you are not confronted with war, subjugation — sexual violence on a level some of the less fortunate places would sling it in your face.
Does that mean we get to turn a blind eye to injustice against marginalized peoples? Against racism, sexism or homophobia? No. But let’s be reasonable about it. Bitching about the appropriation of a culture not your own is probably a poor place to start fighting the world’s battles.
Anyway, I’m drifting from my point. The reason any of this comes to mind is because I was confronted by two very different threads devolving into the same comment chaos over sexism. The thing is, one was, however unrelated, very derivative of the other, at least in attitude.
This one was likely full of teenagers, but the prevailing view seemed to be that women could not take a joke directed at them, no matter how suggestively sexist it was, and thus deserved no opposing point of view towards the attitude perpetuated.
Adults were likely more prevalent in this one (if one could call them that) and it devolved into a proper shitshow very quickly. But what happened in this one was particularly heartbreaking: seeing adult women support that a woman’s job was to tend to her man, his home and offspring and little else. Not because it was her choice but because it’s her job. And, for some, they stake her goodness/godliness on her subservience. This is a toxic yet virulent attitude.
Color me disgusted.
And just…sad. I mean…isn’t that sad? I mean, it was just a joke (the irony of this would dawn on me later via the other thread) my fiancé sent me this morning, self-deprecating at that, but boy it did not go over well on, ironically or no, the targeted sex (i.e. men). And that’s probably fair…although one could argue the image is just as if not more so sexist towards women and their perceived gender role.
So what do we do?
Well, people are always going to argue in comments. What you have to know about the people arguing in comments is their whole goal is to say their opinion and look clever doing so, no matter the errors in spelling or grammar. That is it. That is their entire goal, at least for the majority. They are not there to debate or have their minds changed. They are simply there to say what they think and look smart doing it. That. Is. All.
Whatever you do, and I cannot stress this enough, do not bring a man’s penis or lack thereof into the conversation. I’m going to make a gross generalization and say whether a man is able to get or sustain an erection ties heavily into their ego. Some serial killers’ whole killing careers stem from this (see Andrei Chikatilo for example). I wish I was kidding. And, honestly, it’s not the most clever way to combat misogynists, seriously.
So, what did I do having a history (and an ugly one) as an internet commenter?
Well, first, I quickly deleted my well thought out commentary on feminism and religion and stayed the fuck out of that Facebook one. That’s 90% of the reason I stay away from Facebook anyway. On Instagram, I confronted one particularly sanctimonious guy with his hypocritical desire for drama and attention and corrected his grammar as his argument slowly fell apart around his own behavior. Then there was this little gem:
But, this was my true contribution to modern feminism today, at least in terms of Overwatch memes:
I feel like we have to find a balance between humor and hellfire. Give the right things attention the right way and, although there will always be those who call “butthurt” or “triggered” and we are ourselves just trying to look smart, we might hit the right marks that discourage people from argument because, shit, we’re right.
I will admit, though, when
is met with
the urge is there to say:
“Relax, fellas. It’s just a joke.”
