Degrees of Separation

The Seedy Underbelly Might Be Closer Than You Think

I have learned over the years that sharing too much specific personal information in articles such as these only gets me in trouble. So I will say in as vague a manner as possible that it has been quite an interesting summer for myself and my family.

In the process of working through some of the shit show that has come our way in the past couple of months, I have been thinking about the “Two Americas” I mentioned in previous writing, and how it affects a largely cloistered “liberal elite” such as myself.

I grew up in the rural Midwest, but as an adult I have lived in slightly more urban locales. I am middle-class, educated, and “progressive” in my views. I have never been in trouble with the law in any real sense, have never faced severe financial crisis beyond what any family man has experienced as he and his family has grown and evolved over time.

To summarize my theory of the Two Americas, I think there is a divide between those who believe they have a responsibility to help those around them, and those that think it is every person for him or herself.

As an educated liberal “snowflake,” I am tempted to assume a correlation between education and income and the likelihood that someone falls into one camp or another, but even if there is a correlation, it would be very hard to argue which direction the causation goes. Are poor and uneducated people more likely to be selfish, or are selfish people more likely to be poor and uneducated?

Plus, you don’t have to look too hard to see that this is not a solid correlation. I was in Seattle recently, and discovered that the homeless population there is very generous when it comes to helping each other. Offering food to folks on the street, time and again they would only take some of it and ask me to share the rest with others who needed it. In fact, old adages suggest those with the least tend to be the most generous, and I think there is some truth to that.

If it’s not about education and income, then why are some people incapable of thinking of the needs of others? Is it nature or nurture, or somewhere in between?

Whatever causes the self-centered “us versus them” thinking, I find it very difficult to comprehend. How can you not feel like a terrible person when you willfully discriminate against others, exploit others, or otherwise act for your own benefit at the expense of someone else?

Granted, we can all be selfish. I’m not talking about the little stuff like taking the last Oreo in the package. I’m talking about the heavy hitters like rape, abuse, theft, lying, neglect, and willful ignorance.

I’ve had examples of each thrown at me in the past few month, and I regret to say that these things are becoming more familiar. I find my righteous indignation lessening as I see more and more evidence of how shitty we as humans can be.

Further, I’ve realized that there are areas, perhaps even entire communities, where this kind of behavior is the norm rather than the exception. I’ve seen generations of people act from a place of selfishness and egocentrism, passing the behavior along by example. I’ve realized there are some folks that never experience anything other than this kind of self-centered existence.

I am no longer nearly as baffled as I once was about the events leading up to the current political landscape in the U.S. I understand now how we could have ended up in the mess we are in.

However, there are a couple of upsides.

The first is that when something terrible happens, people from the other America, the one where we really are all working to achieve the greatest good for the greatest number of people, the one where community matters, tend to show up and lend a hand.

The second is that the more you understand someone, the more likely it is that you will be able to communicate with them and maybe find some common ground. I admit I’m still not sure exactly how to make this happen, but I am hoping that I will be able to figure it out.

Meanwhile, I want to warn others like myself to be on the lookout for the selfish shitty masses, and to encourage you to protect yourself when they come along, but maybe stick around and see if you can learn something about them in the process. Unless we figure out how to deal with them and maybe even work with them, things are just going to continue to get worse.