Four New Personality Types Have Emerged During Lock-down…Which One Best Describes You?
Well folks, here we are. 2020 sucks, am I right? If someone had told me circa mid 2019, that a highly contagious “virus” would sweep the world, requiring all citizens to remain indoors for months and weeks to try and “contain” said virus, I would have chuckled with giddy, educated abandon.
“That’s impossible,” I would have scoffed. “Such a pandemic has not been seen on that kind of a scale for well over a hundred years, it’s definitely not something to be concerned about, especially in this day and age”. Oh, how my theoretical pretentious profferings have now been proved catastrophically incorrect. Actual human beings have died and are dying, many are seriously ill, and our befuddled “leaders” are seemingly providing little reprieve, hope or direction.
I’ve always been a people watcher. I love watching how people, including myself, react in different situations. I’m fascinated by how and why we all feel and then express our anger, frustration, happiness, jealously, incredulousness. The whole gamut of human emotions. It is with this inbuilt lens I have started to recognize a phenomenon that not enough people seem to be talking about. And by people, I mean our scientific community. Guys and gals — I have discovered and identified new personalities that didn’t exist pre-Covid! This is major! My ability to self reflect and my professional assessments of my friends, family, colleagues and acquaintances around the world, have led me to identify four new personalities emerging amongst and within all of us. Which one best describes you?
1. The Sloth
(*cough*) … I have it on solid authority that a “sloth” like personality has emerged. This person has zero conniption to change out of their pajamas each day, views waking up and trudging reluctantly to their sofa as a daily achievement, and takes “staying inside” as their holy mantra. This person really has not left their home — at all — for any reason. This person does not wash their dishes, does not shower daily (what’s the point?) and can’t stop eating. They have also developed a mild sensitivity to light due to the above aforementioned reasons. But hey, they are doing their bit to help contain this virus, and have no other choice but to live like this, so F you and wear your damn mask while you disgracefully traipse the outdoors.
Sloth-ing in 2020
2. The neo-Creative
Pre lock-down, this person was a talented volcano of ideas, talent and drive. They were a genius musician/artist/sports player/successful corporate prodigy, went to the gym each morning, ate healthily, worked hard and played hard. A clean, green, living machine. Lockdown has really knocked the wind out of them, but like always, they got back up — quickly. Their morning gym workouts have been replaced with resistance training using everyday household items. They are teaching themselves to play a new instrument, have started a podcast and are feverishly making plans for the future — you know, for 2021 when this is all over. Exploring savvy stock investment options and real estate bargains is how they spend their time now. But when you look into their eyes, there is a new emptiness and remnants of experienced trauma that wasn’t there before…
3. The neo-Conspiracy Theorist
Your friend. Your confidant. Your ride or die. Nooooooooooo. They clicked on random YouTube video and now their internet algorithms have choke-fed them conspiracies about the virus, about the world, about science and medicine — or lack thereof. Those with the ability to critically think about issues, and those that do not possess this ability, are now laid bare for all and sundry. You ignore a few of their whack as hell social media posts, but then… DUM DUM DUMMMMMMMM…said friend sends you a direct message you can’t ignore. You click their message — it contains incoherent links to bat-shit crazy right-wing propaganda. Claiming the virus is a hoax, we just need to eat an orange and all will be fine. You can catch a virus from 5G electricity wiring. Oh and that you should guzzle hydroxychloroquine, like, now. You know there is nothing that you can say to change said friend’s mind. That’s the nature of this new, neo conspiracy theorist radicalization happening online. Only history and time will illuminate the truth for them. It’s painful. Where to for the Bffs from here?
4. The Ticking Timebomb
The mother or/and father with kids under 10. School is canceled, the kids are home, they are trying to work but the kids won’t stop screaming. Mummy and daddy feebly try to “homeschool” said sporn, but this is soon rendered impossible after one week of trying. Things are bad. Really bad. Mum and dad have no time, space, or otherwise to think clearly. Even more so than pre lockdown times. The kids are going stir crazy, the novelty of no school having worn off circa day 3. Their minds are trying to expand and absorb the world, which has now been limited to the four walls of the house and small garden. They’re screaming while they play and It. Just. Won’t. Stop.
The singleton also falls into this category. Pre-current times, the singleton absolutely lUURVed their life — casual dating, fun, laughter, shenanigans, meeting new people, unforgettable nights out. They loved the freedom of not having a serious partner. Cue 2020 lockdown. The singleton’s easy breezy world has come crashing down. Cue long treks in the “great outdoors” snapping selfies with the mountains behind them as they encourage their social media followers to “safely get out and explore nature while you can during this time”. Personally they’re wondering how they’re supposed to date again, and muse on whether it’s now polite to ask someone the last time they got “tested for covid” before going in for the kiss…not that those shenanigans will be happening for a while. Shit.
But seriously, times are really crazy right now and many people are genuinely struggling in one way or another. Many have been reminded of the importance of picking up the phone and staying connected with those near, far and dear. Take note of those not doing so and put your energy into fostering and nurturing those who have your back and are checking in on you during this time. Reach out to someone you trust or a healthcare professional if you’re feeling the pressure, and try to connect with somebody you haven’t heard from in a while. In conclusion, here’s to 2021!
