But … apart from it being the centre of the Universe¹ ... why I love living here in the First World is that, basically, I̶'̶m̶ it's fantastic — Kris Gage once spent half an hour in London and she'll back me up on this.
I mean ... look:
For a start there’s our World class architecture …
If you aren’t in the top 5%, don’t waste the housing association’s time — you haven’t a hope..
This one has a view of a tree, so only the seven figure salaried and the wealthy need apply.
The first class amenities …
Bring the kids — the fresh air will do them good.
You don’t have to go far to spend a penny.
The ecofriendliness …
London is the fifth greenest city in the World!
Recycling facilities are commonplace.
The fashion …
So glamourous, the artistes have to be protected by cages to keep the throngs of groupies at bay.
Keeping it simple — less is more after all.
For the shemale about town, who wants to make a statement.
The vibrant culture …
Street art is everywhere — turn your back for five minutes and next thing, you’re part of it yourself!
There is a lively and spirited culture of political and social commentary.
Londoners are amongst the most astute observers of political realitiy.
The community spirit …
London is home to some of the world’s most famous sports teams and many famous sports personalities cut their teeth playing in the streets in their youth.
Londoners watch out for each other’s interests.
Londoners have a strong sense of community … neighbours are like family.
The World renowned cuisine …
Be adventurous — try something different and sample the national dish, f̶r̶e̶s̶h̶l̶y̶ cooked to order
London is a bubbling cauldron of culinary traditions from around the globe.
Where else can you get a kebab for breakfast!?
London’s restaurateurs cater for all appetites.
The entrepreneurial spirit …
London is a hub of global trade.
London is a global hub for the service sector.
High streets cater for all your major needs.
In London, you’ll find a business opportunity everywhere you look.
You can’t say fairer than that now, can you?
You won’t find a better deal anywhere in the World.
The nightlife …
Say no more, squire … say no more.
Look out Amsterdam … London’s on your tail.
Now that’s what I call a ‘liberal’ policy on drug use.
So, there you have it.
“When a man is tired of Zones 1 and 2, he is tired of Life.”
Samuel Johnson said that on September 20th, 1777, already — and, in his day, they were a plague ridden hole, with nothing like the delights they have to offer today!
And I am not yet tired of Life myself, so you’ll have to drag me away — I came into this world kicking, screaming and covered in someone else's blood; I have no problem with going out the same way.
Besides which, unlike you denizens of the savage wilderness, I don't have to hunt my dinner with a bow and arrow every time I'm hungry ... I can get food delivered.
Seriously … how can anyone not wish they lived behind this door ..?
There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live and too rare to die.
