How Trump Affects You Personally & Why Every Individual Will Be Hurt by Donald Trump, Whether You Support Him or Not.

Steven Rouach
Extra Newsfeed
Published in
4 min readJan 31, 2020
The Republican Party quickly determined his stabbing murder-spree to not be an impeachable offense.

If you live in New York you’ll remember Hurricane Sandy. (©2012 Wrath of GOD Productions, all rights reserved).
I remember it because it was that time my former apartment got converted into a moldy, sewage-filled, swimming pool where all my earthly possessions got some great cardio, swimming merrily around to prepare them for their new lives in whatever landfill they wound up in. I saw actual city buses buried underwater. I saw boats originally located in Sheepshead Bay* sail themselves onto and through people's homes. It was… spooky.

*(Fun Fact: It was named ‘Sheepshead Bay’ by Brooklyn’s founders, once it was determined their original choice of the name ‘Severed-Blood-Caked-Satanic-Eyeless-Goats-Head-Bay was already trademarked.).

Hurricane Sandy was the tip of the melting iceberg. Neil deGrasse Tyson (a scientist, from Earth) was kind enough to inform us that in 20 years the water in New York will be up to the Statue of Liberty’s elbow! — Isn’t that fun?

In the meantime, The Army was supposed to build a seawall to keep 9 million or so of us New Yorkers from washing away out into the ocean to start our exciting new existence as bloated corpses and fish food.

Donald Trump, a guy who’s supposed to love walls, put a stop to this. Out of spite. He even sent a snarky tweet that we should all get mops. The same way he said that people running around on fire in California should get rakes. He doesn’t understand you can’t buy these things from Home Depot when Home Depot is floating away off into the sea or burning up in an inferno. It makes shopping for useless household items to theoretically ineffectually use during instances of profound devastation and death… difficult.

Trump is upset that the Southern District of New York plans to eventually haul him and his entire family into court to reenact the trial of Al Capone. So, he’s sacrificing 9 million American lives to make himself happy.

But some of you don’t live in New York or California, and why should you care if millions of Americans are put into great, great, peril?

So, let’s move onto things he’s done nationally.

Trump and his friends from the GOP Vampire Glee Club (because they’re filled with glee) recently cut food-stamps for people they consider “able-bodied”… and the rest of us consider certifiably insane, dangerously-terrifying, people, who should be getting desperately needed mental help in institutions, and would be, if not for lack of funds for such silly things such as that.

I’m going to make this simple to understand.

1. Really-really-crazy people who are too insane to hold any job due to the paperwork involved when they stab their coworkers (as well as a bump to their employer’s insurance) no longer have a reliable source of food.

2. The aforementioned people bite the rest of us on the head — because being hungry makes people angry and being crazy makes people dangerous. That’s why we originally gave them food stamps instead of just cutting taxes for the richest 700 families in America so that they can more easily purchase their own fleets of jets and spaceships as our deficit triples.

3. This is bad.

1 +2 equals 3. Happens every time

Here’s something else that’s very interesting.

Luckily for those of us who don’t enjoy water, or taking in liquids, or having safe water to shower and brush their teeth with — Trump is now

(Drumroll…)

rolling back restrictions to keep our drinking water safe, restrictions that date back to the 1970s when people first discovered they need clean water if they have aspirations to survive.

No really. He’s doing this. Soon the water in Flint Michigan will be considered average to good.

Gosh, I know some of you like Trump but when, oh when, are your survival instincts going to kick in? Take 30 seconds away from your day praying at the altar at Fox News. Look up what I listed above and see if there’s any dispute whatsoever in this reality in this dimension in which we all dwell.

I get it. Your guy won. All of us goofy liberals, moderates, former Republicans, and people who enjoy laws, took one in the teeth. The email lady is gone. She can’t hurt anyone anymore. Can we now please, please, please, go back to being Americans, all of us, together, and possibly all agree that

  • having clean water coming out of our faucets — is GOOD,
  • and starting a possible zombie apocalypse by cutting off food stamps from people who are poor because they are too scary not to be poor, which will lead them to start biting all the rest of us and trying to eat us in desperation — is BAD.

Yes, our politics are different. But we should indeed want to survive as a species…

even if we outlive Donald J. Trump.

Written by Steven Rouach

FUN FACT: Every time you give a round of applause at the bottom of the page of one of my stories, I literally leap up and take a bow. True story.

Write to me at
swrouach@gmail.com

--

--

Steven Rouach
Extra Newsfeed

Is a carbon based life form from Earth. Anyone who tells you he's not is absolutely lying. He's known for being dashing, heroic & humanity's last, best, hope.