I Ate Hitler's Love-Grandchild
Recently, I was discussing some unrelated matters on another forum when they took a turn for the decidedly ... odd.
Think Sunday Sport odd ...
... and, no doubt to your complete lack of surprise, it was as a result of something I said in a reply to someone else.
In my defence, however, it was they who said they’d misread my comment of “Eva Braun secretly had Hitler's love-child without his knowledge and you are its grandchild?” as “[...] and you ate its grandchild” ...
... so, I’m not solely to blame for what followed ...
In the early 1990s there was an RPG by the name of Macho Women With Guns — a tasteful affair, as I'm sure you can imagine.
Recently, I stumbled upon an adventure supplement for it that left me utterly speechless.
The title of this awe inspiring oeuvre?
Nothing less than Adolf Hitler - Porn Star
That's just ...
I can't even …
Words fail me — I am struck mute by a conflict of emotion so powerful that not even the Bard himself could have given word to it and all I can do is sink to my knees and sob inconsolably as though my heart will break forever.
In fact, I'd be hard pushed not to sell my soul to Satan in return for the opportunity to make that movie and become famous for it.
Eternal damnation vs being universally reviled in my own lifetime doesn't seem like much of a deal really, but, in return for said reviling (revilation?), I would be infamous for having made that movie.
You can see my dilemma.
In fact, sod it, I'd sell my soul in return for having been the person who came up with the RPG adventure supplement — the idea is so tasteless that I'd want to be a part of it any cost.
Anyway...
To return to my having fallen to my knees for a moment (a “whilst you're down there” kinda thing), for some reason, even though it was my very own title that set it off, it was their reply that set me thinking along these lines and for that I am most grateful.
Because, I read it and instantly had a visual flash on someone 'eating' Hitler and, by extension, one of his future grandchildren (obviously said sexual penitent is a 'swallower') — I think it was the suggestion that said person was there with Hitler at the time, working on the Enigma Machine (it's a Nazi porn washing machine repair man moment, isn't it?)
<sigh>
I shouldn't be allowed out really, should I?
It's alright, I'm going (just let me get my coat first).
