‘I Have A Steam’
Joe Biden’s Runner-Up Inauguration Poem
My sister, my wife, we’ve had a good life
But America beckons to end its great #strife
Heaven can wait as I rise to the cause
To strengthen our union with great ointments and gauze
Er, appointments and laws.
With Bernie behind me and troops all in front,
Is this still America or an active manhunt?
Still, I am honored to follow honorable names
Like Lincoln, Carter and Gaga and her Hunger Games
Speaking of hunger, disease and despair,
It is time for a leader with wonderful hair
Not orange, not Tweeting, not licking his wounds
But killing off Covid with vaccines and prunes
We’ll use science and data, whenever we can
As long as it’s prudent and doesn’t offend
There’ll be justice and peace and green fuels galore
And nobody leaves ’til we pleasure Al Gore!
We’ll print fresh new dollars and double your wage
But you’ll pay $80 for parsley and sage
We’ll cover your healthcare, college and homes
Only art history majors will die in cartons, alone
I see a future where we reach the moon
And have tiny computers than can fit in your room
Ice boxes to keep moose fresh for days,
Even freedom to kiss for mixed couples and gays
This brave new world will be powered by steam
Of great rails and locomotives, I have a dream
We’ll open spice trade with our friends to the East
Even General Tso has assured there’ll be peace.
