Truth In Satire

J&J Says Its Tainted Vaccine Mixed With Its Talcum Powder Creates “An Incredibly Effective Rust Remover”

“Using our toxic baby powder together with our bad batch of vaccines wipes away stubborn corrosion almost instantly”

“A little vaccine mixed with a pinch of talcum powder and, poof, rust disappears!” (Credit: https://www.wlky.com)

Johnson & Johnson researchers announced on Thursday that mixing their tainted Covid vaccine with the company’s asbestos-laced baby powder “produces an amazingly effective rust remover that our customers are going to love.”

The pharma giant said the discovery was made in one of its labs accidentally this week after some of its contaminated Covid-19 vaccines touched a pile of its cancer-causing talcum powder and “almost instantly eliminated a stubborn patch of rust on an old lab table.”

“It was a breakthrough our scientists never expected,” said a J&J lab technician. “A little vaccine mixed with a pinch of talcum powder and, poof, rust disappears! It also dissolves a nail in about twelve seconds.”

J&J said it is now considering using the bad batch of 15 million vaccines in combination with its toxic talcum powder to create a new product called, “Corrosivid-19 Rust Eliminator.”

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