Kim Jung Un Gifts President Trump With A Ring of Power
MORDOR — President Trump received a ring of power today from North Korean dictator Kim Jung Un, an item of jewelry forged in the fires of Mount Doom and guaranteed to give President Trump the power to rule.
“President Donald J. Trump has been honored with a ring of power by the King of North Korea,” Tweeted President Trump. “With this ring Donald Trump will protect the people of America, and rule for a thousand years.”
Some government watchdog groups see potential dangers in the gift.
“This ring of power may seem like a cool gift, but we suspect it has a connection to the One Ring, the Ring of Power, which Mr. Kim will use to turn President Trump into a sort of ghost, a ring-wraith if you will,” said Elven political analyst Joshua Morgenstern. “I don’t think this can end well.”
White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders assured the press that there is no danger.
“The precious isn’t a danger to anyone. It’s a simple gift from a culture different from ours and your fear of it only betrays the latent racism in the fake news media. In North Korea, they have a system of government by hand-adornment, and your inability to accept their culture betrays your biases,” she said.
Secretary Sanders also had some sharp words for critic Neil deGray.
“Neil deGray is a fake wizard with a political agenda. When he says the ring will inevitably bring destruction to our land, or that the industry of Isengard is contributing to more violent weather events, it’s all just attacks on our steward, who is very wise. Very wise.”
Kim Jung Un’s giant, flaming eye had no comment.
