Letter to Senator Flake: Leave Biff in the driveway.
Dear Senator Flake,
Last year I wrote your distinguished colleague Senator John McCain about why he shouldn’t veto the Affordable Care Act. I am writing to you about Judge Kavanaugh and why he shouldn’t be confirmed.
As I told Senator McCain last year, I am a true-blue Democrat. Yet I do know there are people in the Republican party I agree with and can see both points of view (I wrote about Betty Ford here) There have been times when I see you I think of Gerald Ford. Trust me, this is a compliment. You have been a fair, same kind voice while this country has gone insane.
However, when I heard you voted for Kavanaugh, my heart sank. But when I heard about what happened in the elevator and how that made you rethink everything, I cannot tell you how proud I was. Proud of you, proud that someone said hey, wait. We’ve got to think about the country, not politics. It was a profile in courage. I know ultimately, I cannot tell you how to vote. But I can tell you my concerns and why I am worried about Brett Kavanaugh assuming such a huge position.
I’m not sure if you’re familiar with alcoholism and how it affects families, but here we go: in an addict’s family, enabling can be possible. Daddy’s in jail? Well, I guess we have to bail him out. Biff was passed out on the driveway? We better get him before the neighbors see him. Oh, you need beer dear? Let me get some for you. You’re hungover? Don’t worry dear, I will call your office. They truly don’t think they’re coming from a bad place. They love the alcoholic, the addict. They’re thinking they’re helping. But they’re not helping. It’s making it worse. After Judge Kavanaugh’s behavior on Thursday with him being rude, confirming him as a Supreme Court Justice is getting the alcoholic another beer or bailing him out of jail, or picking up Biff up from the driveway. We’re rewarding bad behavior. To be perfectly honest, I don’t know if Judge Kavanaugh is an alcoholic or not. Maybe I am projecting. But I can’t help but wonder.
Personally, I believe he assaulted Dr. Ford. No woman would go through what she did just because she could. What message are we sending our girls if he gets confirmed? Well, boys will be boys! I cannot tell you how tired I am of that phrase. I heard it growing up. Women I know who were raped and assaulted heard that phrase. Why do you think they don’t say anything?
Here’s the thing: we’re in such strange territory. What was acceptable thirty years ago, even a year and a half ago, isn’t acceptable anymore. I don’t know if it’s #metoo or Mr. Trump. We’re not going back to what we were. And oh God, that’s painful. Author Flannery O’Connor once said this: “Grace changes us and change is painful.” We need time to change. We need the grace to figure out where we’re going, where we are heading as a country.
And I truly believe Judge Kavanaugh needs that time as well. I believe Judge Kavanaugh needs help. Even if he is not drinking now, I believe he needs help to figure out who he is and why he has been accused of so many things that are slowly being backed up by others. I believe he too can find grace. It will be painful. But if he can get there, we should let him. However, after all this drama, I don’t think he can get to grace if he gets confirmed.
Yes, I am biased. Having him on the court after hearing how he treated Jane Doe in Texas frightens me. But I also think that as a country, we will never be able to trust his judgment if he gets confirmed. All we will see is a man acting out of defensiveness, anger, and rage.
I am asking you to work with your colleagues and the other side of the aisle to do what is best for this country. Help Dr. Ford and Judge Kavanaugh find grace. This is your chance to leave Biff on the driveway and be held for his own actions. I think we all need to be left on the driveway and figure out how to get to our version of grace.
I truly wish you well.
yours truly,
Jennifer Kathleen Gibbons
