Local Boy’s Finger Smells Amazing
BOSTON, MA — Local media reports that Boston area nine year old Chance O’Neill’s right index finger smells amazing. In a flurry of Tweets, Instagram posts, and eyewitness accounts recorded and put on YouTube, witnesses describe Mr. O’Neill standing at the intersection of L Street and East 3rd Street, in front of Village Pizza & Grill, pleading with passers by to smell his finger. Seven obliged, confirming that his stubby digit does in fact smell amazing.
When pressed for details, witnesses were at a loss for words, opting for expressions bordering on the metaphysical.
“It reminded me of an early childhood memory. My mother was holding me and offered me my first bite of a butter cookie. His finger didn’t smell like the cookie or anything, but it took me right back there, for sure,” said Boston native Ted Jameson. “It was like a hit of LSD or some shit,” he continued.
“When I smelled it, I was put in mind of a strange blue room, like something out of Tron, and I was strapped to a table while my high school math teacher laughed at me,” said area businesswoman Lisa Rivera.
When reached for a statement, Mr. O’Neill refrained from confirming the origin of the smell, hinting only that it was not in fact the natural odor of his finger. He went on to say that classmate Jenny Carpenter would be able to confirm its origins.
