Local Man Shocked Fellow Americans Voted The Way They Always Have
BROOKLYN, NY — As of Wednesday afternoon, local graphic design artist Carter Pearson, 34, is having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that many Americans believe exactly what they have always said they believed and acted upon those beliefs when casting a vote in Tuesday’s U.S. presidential election. “But it doesn’t make sense, they’re just going to vote the way they’ve always voted, again?,” a confused Pearson thought Tuesday night. The local man further explained that he could not understand how tens of millions of individuals, who have never met Pearson and live wildly different lives, did not suddenly agree with Pearson’s entire belief system and vote similarly. “I can’t say I saw this one coming,” said an exasperated Pearson, who reportedly is a natural-born American citizen who has been able to read and retain information since at least the early 1990s.
